hey hey! Look at it! One blog article for two weeks in a row! Woot woot! Glad you’re here for this one. I’m kind of continuing on with the whole “why” concept but today’s article is about why I now offer overnight support.
Can you guess the top two topics that potential clients always ask me when we discuss their concerns for the postpartum period and life with their newborn? I bet you can but since you’re reading this and I’m having a hard time hearing your response, I’ll type it here for you – feeding and sleep. Parents ask if I can help them feed (both the baby and themselves) and they ask how I can help them sleep.
Previously, before I offered overnight support, I would describe a typical daytime visit that often included sleep or downtime for the primary caregiver. I’ll also show them ways to sleep safely or ways to set up the house to minimize awake time and maximize rest (even if it’s not always sleep). But I wasn’t able to personally and physically provide the hands-on support at night to really help with sleep care for the whole family.
Until now! In December 2018 I started providing overnight support! And, in keeping with my “WHY” series, I want to tell you two of the reasons why I decided to add overnight support to my services.
The first, and most important reason, is SLEEP. Sleep for the mother/primary caregiver. Sleep for a partner. Sleep for the baby. Sleep for the dog. I usually don’t sleep, but, thanks to some high-speed Army training, I’m ok functioning on a little sleep (as long as I’m topped up with high-potency caffeine!). Did you see the first part about sleep for mom? Let’s get to that for a minute.
Sleep is critical for all animals. No question there. But is sleep absolutely critical for mothers/primary caregivers of newborns? Sleep can literally be a matter of life and death! Okay, I could stretch the evidence there, but you get the point. Sleep affects so many things in each of us, but it’s especially critical for parents of new babies.
Critical Sleep Windows
According to one study, mothers who slept “at least one (1) hour during the day” were associated with lower postpartum depressive symptom scores and “spending 2 or more hours awake between 12 AM and 6 AM was associated to higher depressive symptom scores at three months postpartum.” This means that napping at least an hour or more during the day can reduce a mother’s depressive symptoms. It also means that being awake for more than 2 hours between the hours of 12 AM and 6 AM can increase a mother’s depressive symptoms.
Ohhh, ohhh, ohhh – I can help with that! Get me into the coach! At night, I take care of the baby. All the mother has to do is drink water and, if they are a breastfeeding diad, she has to nurse the baby (and, if she is safe about it, she can even take a little nap while feeding!) or pump. Yes, he won’t have a full night of uninterrupted sleep because babies still need frequent feedings, but he won’t be awake for 2+ hours between midnight and 6AM. I got that!
Importance of Mother’s Feelings About Sleep
A mother’s mind power and her understanding is also a critical part of this puzzle. The aforementioned study, including this study, know that how a mother feels, the subjective side, is a very strong indicator of postpartum depression. Look at this…
“Regardless of other factors, including objective measures of sleep quality and quantity, mothers who felt they don’t get enough sleep…have higher depressive symptom scores in the postpartum period.”
It says that if a mother feels she is not getting enough sleep, she is more likely to have higher symptoms of depression. It’s probably pretty easy to fix – let’s just support the mother by doing what she asks. Let’s encourage her to go back inside, find what she feels she needs, trust her intuition, and do her best to communicate. If he doesn’t know what he needs, he probably needs to sleep! And I can let him do that!
Helping the mother truly, unconditionally, FEEL supported. That’s all I can think about. That’s my WHY.
So, to put my money where my mouth is, I need to provide overnight support and help families (especially mothers) feel like they are getting enough sleep and feel like they are receiving exceptional support.
Teaching Parenting at Night
The second reason I started offering overnight support was to treat it as an extension of daytime doula support. As I previously explained in Part 2 of the Help After Baby Series (In-Home, Hired Support), there is a difference between postpartum doula support and other types of baby-related support. One of the main differences between postpartum doulas and other in-home help for families with newborns is that postpartum doulas typically don’t care. We teach through words and example, we empower through support and providing space and setting the conditions for the mother/caregiver to establish her own routines. We ask and answer questions, but we rarely tell the mother/caregiver what to do or how to do something.
I wanted to transition it into helping teach families how to parent at night. Parenting at night is difficult for many reasons, usually because it’s when mom feels (there’s a whole feeling thing again) alone. Everyone in the house was quiet and asleep, but not the mother. He was as awake as a raccoon outside. How lonely. But it doesn’t have to be. I can accompany him. I can teach him while he has no other distractions. I listen to him when he is at his weakest and most tired. I can talk her through ways to help her maximize her own sleep and rest while still caring for her baby.
I feel like there are so many things I want to share with families about parenting at night but never had the chance to do so.
Until now! I am so happy that my own family situation and support network is set and stable and that I can now continue to mother my own family while now offering overnight postpartum doula support.
Wondering what the overnight support provided by a From the Start, Postpartum Doula looks like? As a therapeutic and reinforcing practice, my next blog article will be about just that – lessons from overnight doula support!
stay blessed,
