Our once tiny babies grow and change – and so do their needs and challenges. My own children have had their share of struggles, both at home and at school. I started Reframe Parenting to help other parents find a better path. It is based on the simple idea that if we look at our children with different lenses (I call them reframes!), then we can see the moments where there was anger, ideas where there were roadblocks.
The bottom line? Every child (including yours!) is amazing and deserves to succeed. But the truth is that sometimes life and school seem to throw obstacles in the way.
When our children are struggling, we as parents need to do a little more, stretch ourselves a little, and push them on a smoother – and sometimes different – path. Seeing things through new lenses gives us a peek into what’s hidden beneath our children’s challenges — and our reactions to them, as well.
Top 4 Reframes – parenting tips to get you started:
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We are not children. It can be hard to remember that our children are not a reflection of us or even our own needs. Each child is a unique person with unique strengths and needs. If we focus too much on how we can handle a situation (“I’m a good student and always do my work – why don’t they just turn in their homework?”), we miss the truth of who them and what THEY are. needed.
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Our children’s struggles are not a reflection of our parenting. I’d write this one on a giant billboard if I could – because it’s hard to internalize. Their struggles, whatever they are, are not our fault or a measure of our success as parents. Good parents have children who struggle.
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Curiosity is our friend. If we approach our children’s struggles with curiosity, then we move from blame to discovery. “I wonder” is my favorite phrase for this. “I wonder what happens when you don’t turn in your homework?” starts a conversation instead of closing one. This leaves room for your child to take part in figuring out what’s going on, too.
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The the more we learn and grow ourselves, the better able we are to meet our children’s challenges with compassion and understanding instead of frustration and criticism of their shortcomings and needs.
Information is power to improve your parenting
The more you know about who your child really is and what makes them tick, the better you can meet their needs and advocate for them. It takes a shift in our thinking to overcome emotions and preconceived ideas and truly see our child for all that they are unique.
But how do you do it? Try asking yourself these questions:
