Boy Math: When your love life feels like a group project your partner “forgot” to help with
Sudden quiz! What is the sum of “kids don’t want” and “forget protection”? If your calculator shows an error, you may be familiar with a little thing called “boy math.” This term revolves around and about…creative arithmetic some cis men come up with to justify doing whatever they want to do.
While the original “girl math,” which this trending hashtag is based on, was mostly silly and fun (think “Girl math packs at least 14 pairs of underwear for a 7 day trip”), boy math tends to focus more on the ways that boys, in fact, do poorly with girls. And here at Bedsider, we’re especially interested in the ways “boy math” affects sex, contraception, and what happens when the result of the equation is an unwanted pregnancy.
Educating yourself about contraceptives may seem daunting, but it’s a bit like choosing the right way to tackle a math problem; there may be many ways, but some may work better for you than others. For example, some people find that the birth control pill brings them to a personal pain point, while others love the pill because it helps them enjoy stress-free sex with added benefits like clearer skin, lighter periods, and fewer cramps. Some prefer barrier methods like diaphragms or condoms, while others rely on the IUD’s more than 99% effectiveness. Every body is different, so if one solution doesn’t work well for you, it’s worth giving a few more a shot.
And as for solutions, remember that many people choose to combine the birth control pill with condoms, especially if they have sex with more than one partner. (Note: condoms and internal condoms are the only BC methods that also offer protection against STIs.) Consider combining a hormonal method with condoms or internal condoms like wearing a belt and suspenders with super baggy pants: if the suspenders break, the belt is still there to make sure you don’t screw it all up. (Or, if we’re talking about birth control instead of baggy pants, having both methods of protection will increase the odds that you won’t pregnant.)
We may enjoy laughing at “boy math,” but the trend also reminds us of the importance of shared responsibility. Relationships (even very short ones, like one-night stands), like math, require effort, understanding, and occasional work. After all, when it came to the room, the only surprise we really wanted was breakfast in bed the next morning.
But now that we got the more serious part out of the way, here are seven boy math “equations” that made us LOL.
“Boy math has a body count of 30 and doesn’t make any of them peak.”
“Boy math uses saline solution to test the absorbency of period products until 2023.”
“Boy math sends another ‘hey’ after the first 15 didn’t work”
“Boy math is how three minutes become ten”
“Boy math is having a hoe but you don’t want your hoes to have a hoe”
“Boy math thinks Plan B is free.”
*Note: We use the terms “boys,” “boys,” “girls,” and “girls,” throughout this piece because the phenomena of “boy math” and “girl math” are gendered and firmly established within the binary. However, it is important to remember that not all women have sex, not all men have sex, not all are male or female, and gender is a social construct.
