We’ve all seen the mom drinking meme of “It’s Wine O’Clock!”, “Mommy’s Sippy Cup Is A Wine Glass”, or even “Coffee = Mom Fuel”. You know the ones. They all boil down to the same thing: this momming thing is really exhausting and I need some kind of drug to cope or keep up, or both.
And, on the surface mom drinking memes are funny. But down the line, they’re not funny anymore. Because there’s nothing funny about parenting burnout.
The Spec recently published a story on the “Mommy Needs Wine” phenomenon called Why Mommy Drinking Culture Needs to Go and we had some thoughts about it.
Up front: we’re not interested in shaming you.
If you are a parent, especially a female parent who does most of the parenting duties by accident or design, we want you to know that we see your contributions to your family. We see them and recognize how difficult parenting can be at different times in your children’s lives.
And we don’t have a problem with moms drinking alcohol and wine. We are concerned, however, when we see widespread references to requiring alcohol to function or deal with parenting.
We know that, especially in the first months of the first year, sleep is lacking. After all, sleep is the foundation of all other mental and physical health. We’ve written before about how harmful sleep deprivation can be for parents.
In addition to the not sleeping issue is the lack of self-feeding. Some people call it self-care, but you don’t just take care of yourself like it’s a maintenance task you need to complete on a regular basis. What you’re really doing is feeding yourself so you can function properly – like remembering to take the car in for oil changes, tune-ups and regular washes to keep your car in tip-top condition. operation.
When we add the lack of proper sleep to the lack of self-feeding you have a parent who feels tired and burnt out.
A glass of wine may sound like an antidote, but it’s not. It’s like looking for things to do for lunch, deciding they’re too time-consuming and eating a handful of cookies. Sure, doing that is sometimes fun and convenient, but engaging in it can have undesirable consequences.
The Spec article talks about the rising trend of alcohol abuse among female parents. This is nothing new, of course. In the 50s and 60s there was a widespread epidemic of full-time stay-at-home female parents taking various drugs to manage their days – energy-boosters, nerve-busters and whatever the doctors prescribed. no attention is paid to these women. issues.
Well, we’re paying attention.
We know that a better strategy for fatigue and burnout isn’t alcohol or even coffee, it’s support.
Need more sleep? Parents can use an overnight doula for a few nights, a few weeks or a few months. A doula can take some or all of the night time parenting a newborn or baby so parents can get a long night’s rest and wake up refreshed and strong for the demands of the next day.
Burned? A postpartum doula is a parenting coach to help navigate many challenges, provide hands-on help with things like baby care, breastfeeding support, light household support and even a little sibling care. Through discussions, a doula also helps parents process the emotional and mental experience of parenthood.
Are you overwhelmed? The main task of the postpartum doula is to relieve the stress of new parents. They facilitate learning about the baby or babies in a way that builds the new parent’s sense of parenting mastery and shows what is normal and what is not. The social connection between a doula and their client helps alleviate the sense of isolation many new, stay-at-home parents experience, especially as we head into winter.
If you find yourself reaching for a drink to soften the edges of a life suddenly full of challenges, consider reaching out to us. We’re here to help address the root causes of fatigue, burnout and fatigue. And we will never judge you for the coping strategies you try.
