You know that feeling that everything is so hard? When it’s hard to feel the sun on your face? When there seems to be no escape from the struggle? Maybe you’re a new mom, in the midst of the overwhelming uncertainty of new parenthood. Perhaps you recently lost a pregnancy, or a baby, or a loved one died. Maybe you just lost your home because of a fire, or a flood, or a typhoon. Maybe your partner or spouse recently left or an important relationship just ended. Maybe you just received some kind of diagnosis and are afraid you might die, or someone close to you is sick. Perhaps your suffering is less obvious- you may be struggling with depression or anxiety and no one else can see what you’re feeling. Perhaps you feel a rightful burden of destruction and suffering in the world. Maybe you have uncertain financial stress, or don’t like your job, or feel alone and disconnected from the community.
When we’re in this state (and we all are at some point if not now), the idea of joy and contentment and comfort feels far away. Impossible. Sometimes, we feel like we shouldn’t be able to access such joy when there is so much pain.
But we also need to practice joy in these moments. Even if it feels difficult. Because we are human, we must allow ourselves to experience it all. If we let our thoughts control us, our brains will be biased towards the negative and we will miss the opportunity to live in the moment. Our thoughts will always look for the problem that needs to be solved; in lack and struggle. This is the nature of our mind. At the same time, this, my friends, serves no one.
So, let’s try something together.
-
Stop what you’re doing and stop. Right now. I know it’s hard to read and follow, but close your eyes for a moment. breathe.
-
Notice the feelings of discomfort- let them come. Pay attention to feelings of discomfort in your body- maybe it’s a tightness in your chest or your shoulders. Maybe there is a weight behind your eyes. Maybe it’s a distraction to your brain. Notice the rapid movement of your thoughts. Name it. What are you feeling?
-
Breathe into it. Really. These feelings are there and not going anywhere at the moment and, frankly, they make perfect sense. Nothing wrong. Name them to tame them.
-
Okay. Now, notice the feelings of relief and satisfaction. They are there if you are curious. I promise. Is your sweatshirt soft against your skin? The sunlight coming through the window? Your dog or cat nearby, who loves you unconditionally? Do you hear a bird or a raindrop or music? Do you hear a child’s voice, even loud and sharp, indicating that this child is alive? Can you feel your breath? How hot is the air around you? Find something, no matter how small. breathe.
It’s amazing, isn’t it? That we can feel both comfort and discomfort at the same time? That joy and pain can coexist? That even in our darkest times, if we allow ourselves, we can also experience joy?
This must be our practice. Each one of us. Everyday. Try it for 1 week. Maybe 2. See if you can experience the joy that is waiting for you, where you did not expect it to be found. Appreciating the moments of joy doesn’t mean you don’t respect the pain. It just means you respect the fun too. It’s always there. We just have to stop and notice.
