*this is a repost from my facebook. This was originally written on October 5, 2020
As some of you may have noticed, I haven’t been here in a while. I couldn’t handle all the controversy. Actually, I would probably add some but there is something more important. Last Tuesday, September 28, I received the second worst phone call of my life. My cousin Lisa Pahl called to tell me that our beloved grandfather/dad passed away unexpectedly. I went up on Friday to her home (lost our grandmother in December) to help my family begin to sort out 50+ years of living in a house. It is impossible and even more impossible to imagine that he is gone. I don’t know how many times I cried, “Dear God!!” It’s just not possible. My dad is stability and strength, strong and loving. He gave hugs that you felt for days. For years I stood at his feet, sat on his knees. And in the last 9 months, we both made an effort to talk on the phone (never my forte). Our last conversation included the importance of wearing a mask, what homeschooling was like–where the girls sat and where I got the books–saying how proud she was of me for teaching the girls and to Bob for restoring his boat and he is very happy that Bob will teach the girls about the water and how to respect it. (My grandfather loved all things hunting but was a conservationist at heart) I have things of his that I would cherish, even their little dog Daisy, but I don’t like any of it …I like him. I want another hug. I wanted to tell him that one of the fishing rods I brought home from his house was the very one my hubby had as his first pole. I really reached out to call him for that but he won’t go there. I wanted to give him the mask I ordered him after that last call–which came on Saturday while I was tidying up at his house. Let me leave you with his last piece of advice–“people need to wear their damn masks, stay isolated and get the vaccine when it comes!!” I miss you beyond words dad. So, so, so much. I love you.
He’s still right–people need to wear their masks and get vaccinated. The youngest in our family finally got his first dose yesterday, November 4, 2021.
I’m looking at pictures to put them here but it’s bittersweet. All this is. I want my grandparents here. With me. I want to show them the pictures. I want to talk about the pictures. A year later, I still couldn’t handle the sadness.
Live until you Grow!
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