Have the best sex of your life in 2023 with these New Year’s resolutions
Here at Bedsider, we don’t believe in the kind of toxic “self-improvement” that’s shoved down people’s throats at the start of every year. Instead of thinking about shrinking or otherwise changing our bodies, we want to use this time to think about how we can bring more joy and intimacy into our lives. Here are 7 New Year’s resolutions we’re making for 2023—we hope you’ll take the one that works for you and leave the rest!
1. Have a growth mindset when it comes to sex
If you’ve had a sexual script (or scripts) that you’ve gone back to for years, meaning your gender looks the same from one time to the next, it can feel like deviating from that script is a bit scary or maybe not possible. Well, we’re here to tell you it’s possible. You are a growing, evolving person in all aspects of your life, including your sexuality. There’s no reason why your sexual desires and fantasies shouldn’t evolve and change as well. So in 2023, why not try something new? Was there anything you thought about, saw in a movie, or read in a steamy book that turned you on? Suggest it to your partner(s) and see what happens!
2. Turn yourself on
When there’s so much going on in the world that’s stressful and scary, it can be hard to get into a sexy mental space. The first step is to tune into your body and begin to notice how it feels. Explore sensations, whether you’re using your hands to stroke your body or stroke a favorite toy. Taking time for solo sexual expression can help you update your idea of what turns you on and get you in the mood for partner play, if that’s what you want.
3. Commit to clear communication
While it’s not always easy, clear and consistent communication about everything from fantasies to boundaries is essential to good sex—and that means both sharing information and receiving it from your partner(s). However, remember that this doesn’t mean you have to share things you don’t want to share, nor does it mean you have to do anything you don’t want to do (besides respecting other people’s boundaries).
4. Don’t compare your sex life with other people
You’ve probably heard that comparison is the thief of joy, and nowhere is this more true than when it comes to sex. The surest way to stress yourself out is to compare notes with friends about how often you have sex, how passionate it is, how many different positions your partner twists you into, or whether how many orgasms can you have in one night. Before you know it, you will panic if everything you are doing is wrong, when in reality nothing is. Other people’s sex lives are simply not relevant to you. What matters is that you are satisfied your sex life, and if yes, no problem.
5. Try different types of intimacy
This year, we’re leaning towards the concept of focusing more on intimacy as less on sex, as it’s traditionally defined. Intimacy gives us so many options, and if there is a mismatch in desire levels or any other reason why sex has been complicated in your relationship(s), exploring these other options is can be a good place to start building the sex life you want. . Intimacy can include giving your partner a massage, cuddling, looking into each other’s eyes, taking a shower together, having sex, having sex during the work day, role playing, or doing anything that feels good for to both of you.
6. Make time for sex
Yes, yes, we hear your objections—“scheduling sex is not sexy!” But you know what Really isn’t it sexy? Never have sex because something else is in the way. Put a time for sex on the calendar, and then remember that you can use it for any flavor of intimacy you want.
7. Invest in yourself
Let’s make 2023 the year we put ourselves first. Getting the birth control method you can follow and using safer sex practices, such as regular STI testing and using a condom or an internal condom every time you have sex, are actions of self-care and investment. in your future.
