It doesn’t matter who broke your heart or how long you loved that person, heartbreak is valid in all its forms. It could be a breakup with a best friend, a breakup with your partner of years, or a breakup with someone you’ve only been seeing for a few months—come in, you’re welcome. Here are some survival tips:
1. Meet your own basic needs
You know, food, water, fresh air and sunlight, the occasional shower or bath—these things are really important (surprise!) for your mental health as well as your physical health. You don’t have to like it. It doesn’t have to make you feeling better nowyou just have to do it.
2. Don’t project this feeling into your entire future
You may find yourself crying over your cat’s fur and thoughts oh my God, how can I live forever without this person?! which can quickly rotate to I will be alone forever. It’s understandable, but that’s not what’s happening right now, which means it’s up to your imagination. Focus on what’s real, and what’s real is right now (for example) you’re in your living room, whatever time it is, you can feel your cat’s teeth wrapping around your finger, and you’re sad. That’s all you have to accept.
3. Give yourself radical self-compassion
Say what you want about “hug yourself” – He works. Couple this with self-compassion and you have a recipe for healing. Hug yourself and talk to yourself as if you were talking to a hurt and upset child: “I’m so sorry, I know it hurts. It makes sense for you to be sad and upset. I’ll take care of you, and we’ll figure out how to feel better. You’re safe.” Or whatever words soothe your soul.
4. Do something that brings you joy every day
Try to find something fun to do every day. It doesn’t have to be a full production, it can literally be looking out the window or getting your favorite coffee or spending 5 minutes stretching. Or a little self-love (wink wink).
5. Give yourself room for error
Healing is not linear, as they say. You may feel better one day and worse the next. And you can do some things that help your healing process and some things that don’t, like drunk texting your ex or looking at their Instagram. Don’t expect to handle everything perfectly. Forgive yourself and move on.
