I should be blue if….
Spring time, the usual gamechanger for me
……I can’t smile
……doesn’t make me feel any better
……doesn’t make me feel excited for his return
………………………………color
………………………………………… heat
……………………………………………………….. sunlight
………………………………………………………………………….. chirping of birds
……………………………………………………………………………………………..flower blooming
I’m not asking for music that I normally want to hear.
I can’t laugh at things I normally laugh at.
I need to find a way to avoid the downward slide
into depression where I can’t eat or sleep,
just hyperfocus on how to lose.
I’ve been there before, and it’s a pain you wouldn’t wish on anyone
I don’t want to feel that again.
My post on the lunar new year was just 2 months ago
expressed my relief that I had made it through the winter
without feeling blue.
Well, looks like I’ll have to wait until after spring actually arrives–and sets–
to make such a statement.
What is pulling me down?
Thoughts about my parents and being like them.
Seeing them every week makes it worse.
It’s really hard to stay upbeat when I think about it
about them and what is in store for me in my old age.
What helps get me out of this mess
goes out, spends time with friends,
appreciation of beautiful places and nature in people
not from inside my house.
But outside.
Breathe in the fresh air,
feel the heat of the sun,
and see in person the beautiful colors of the first spring flowers.
And smiling.
