“I would love to hire a doula BUT…” — Cloud Nine Birth Services | Birth Doula Services | Postpartum Doula Services
“…I’m planning an epidural/cesarean section and doulas are only for natural births.”
This couldn’t be further from the truth. A doula’s job is to provide education as well as ongoing physical and emotional support. Last time we checked, support and judgment are two different things. Every woman and family has a different set of goals and aspirations when it comes to their birth experience. We are there to inform and empower. We are there to work with your birth team and help you process the risks, benefits and alternatives when it comes to potential interventions and medical procedures. We are there so that when you walk away from your birth experience, you look back with pride instead of feelings of confusion or overwhelm.
Whether you want to have a completely natural birth experience with no medical interventions or you’ve decided an epidural or other intervention is best for you, we’re here to guide you through it all and we’re sorry that misconceptions exist -kuro now.
“…my husband was afraid that the doula would overshadow her role in our birth experience.”
One thing we always make it a point to discuss with our potential clients in consultations is that it is not our role to push dad, but rather to help him best support his partner in their birth experience. Sometimes this means letting him take a break for a nap or a meal but other times it means stepping back and working on the outside and looking in. If we see that the two of you are really working well, we know that this is what keeps the oxytocin flowing that moves labor forward. We can do other things in the background or silently suggest. The truth is that this is one of the most important days for both of you. Together, you welcome your baby into this world and step into parenthood. A husband knows and loves his partner. We know and love birth. We work together to provide the working woman with an amazing team. We pride ourselves on being considerate of both of you and never overstepping boundaries.
“…the cost is too high.”
Although doula support may seem a bit expensive, and there is, there is a good reason for this. As birth and postpartum doulas, we invest a lot of time and money in our practical training and continuing education to serve you well. There is a lot of invisible background work behind doula support – in addition to births and postpartum shifts, a lot of our time is spent dealing with administrative work, emailing/texting/talking on the phone to answer questions at any time, attend prenatal and postpartum appointments and drive. My goodness, there are a lot of drivers. Living the on-call lifestyle and being available at the drop of a hat is very difficult for the doula and her family and for those of us who provide these services as a profession and not a part-time hobby, there are just too many client that we can accept responsibly without overbooking and doing a disservice to all involved. On top of all this, we are mothers ourselves and with our hectic work schedules, childcare can be difficult to find and expensive. Neglecting important family activities and holidays and attending births beyond our means (usually around 18 hours) can be difficult but passion and love for what we do along with proper compensation is keeps us going and leaves us wanting more.
The birth of your child is probably the most important day of your life and leaves a lasting impact on the whole family. The postpartum period is equally, if not more important. If all you do is hire a midwife/OBGYN without considering childbirth education, doula support, placenta encapsulation, chiropractic care, lactation support, photography, etc. – you’re really doing the bare minimum. It’s like hiring a venue for your wedding and doing nothing else. If we spend even a fraction of what we do on our wedding day at the birth of our children and after the postpartum periods, we will all be better off at this time of life. The good thing is that parents are starting to open their eyes to this, they are starting to become more informed and take back control of their birth and postpartum experiences with more education and more support.
“…my OB/midwife is right. They will help me in labor and delivery.”
You may have chosen the right provider, one who is on the same page and supportive of your wishes, but care providers (including midwives) are especially busy. If no interventions are needed or requested and you are in the low-risk category, it is common for them not to show up until closer to the second stage (pushing). Research also shows that nurses are only in the room 31% of the time on average. They often run from room to room monitoring some working women. It’s their job to make sure the mother and baby are healthy but if they’re offering physical and emotional support, that’s putting in extra time and effort.
“…I have read too many stories where a hired doula is inadequate and therefore, not worth the cost.
Every industry has bad eggs and it is very unfortunate that any family would feel a lack of support or benefit after investing in their birth and/or postpartum experience. There is a solution to this issue. Probe! Ask your potential doula-specific questions to better understand exactly how they plan to enhance your experiences. If they can’t tell you, it might be a red flag but if they can give you different examples of what their support looks like and it fits what you’re looking for, you probably don’t need to worry about in this concern. forward.
