Our post today is from Mother, Educator, and Community Organizer Nikki Brooker.
Have you heard the old saying? “Need a village?”
The origin of this saying is unknown, but it is believed to have originated in African culture hundreds of years ago. Villages in Africa are all coming in to care for and raise the children. Many mothers can feed a child from their breast and this is considered normal. Mothers come together to create an environment of love, acceptance and care. Mothers of many generations are part of the village and the more experienced mothers guide the younger mothers on their motherhood journey.
From the beginning, motherhood is the hardest job to create. As a mother, you are expected to grow a child in your body, give birth to that child, and then naturally develop the ability to care for, nurture, and raise that child without a manual, without a “how to” book and often without a village. . to show you the way. In the US we do a terrible job of supporting our mothers. In Europe and Asia, mothers are given a PAID year off from their jobs, a doula visits them at home and they are often given other amenities. In the US, moms are given ONE 6-week postpartum visit and from there, they are expected to figure it out.
Obviously, I’m not suggesting we have a communal lifestyle with lots of moms breastfeeding each other’s babies but what if we made sure each mom had peer-to-peer support that changed how they cope with being a mother? As humans, we learn from others and their experiences and motherhood, which can be very beneficial.
Peer-to-peer support is highly productive and successful, as we have seen in the Alcoholics Anonymous organization. When you feel like you’re not alone and you’re not “failing,” you have connections with others who feel your pain and are experiencing similar struggles., it creates a camaraderie that improves the mental health of all involved. Peer-to-peer supporters feel valued and validated while the supported feel less alone and isolated in their feelings. Motherhood should not be attempted on an island. It takes a village and we need to create villages for our mothers and give them the support they deserve. You created human life and therefore deserve the love and support of other badass moms!
Finding your village can be difficult when you don’t know where to look. The good places are (unfortunately) social media. Find groups in your community. Try searches like Moms of Highlands Ranch, or Moms of Boulder. Meetups are another great way to find mom friends. There is another app called Peanut that is great for moms to find other moms in their area as well. There are options out there, you just have to take the first step to find your village.
YANAM2M is a Highlands Ranch nonprofit created from two tragedies in our community. We are here to create a safe space for all mothers where every mother feels safe, valued and accepted. We offer all moms a support person (another mom can say, I’ve been there). We are also developing a new program at the hospital where EVERY birthing mother will be given a village. Contact Nikki for more information
Don’t forget that YOU ARE BADASS! And you are not alone.
Nikki Brooker
CEO and Founder YANAM2M
303-229-3678
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