I am a big reader. Like 100+ books a year reader. And as a doula and newborn care specialist, a pretty decent number of those tend to involve pregnancy, childbirth, or babies – something that continues to refine and advance my knowledge and expertise in my field. So when I recommend you a book on childbirth, breastfeeding, etc., you know I’ve read them all and I’m picking a favorite!
Over the past decade, many books have appeared aimed at helping new fathers learn about birth or how to support your wife during labor as her husband or partner. But I have never recommended one in particular to other acquaintances of my clients. I find that they tend to fall into one of two categories – either a textbook-ish, long-winded, and probably out-of-date read; or a “too much effort to be funny and relatable to men by making too many sports analogies.”
Many of you know that my husband owns an online used book business and so I find tons of great reads. When I saw this small, chunky handbook titled “Don’t Just Stand There”I immediately added it to my reading pile.
Now that’s a great little book, and really helpful beyond “don’t watch sports while your wife is in labor” After reading it, I passed it on to one of our clients who is about to become a first time father here in a few weeks!
Beautiful to look at with its well-designed cover and thick, heavy pages, it is a recent publication with up-to-date and modern insights into current standard hospital protocol, what to expect and how to behave during labour, doulas, interventions, and other important topics. At 103 pages, it can be read in one day or even in advance if necessary.
Chapters included are: Stages of Labor, What to Bring, What to Say, How to Comfort, What Not to Do, Say, or Bring, and Fill in the Blanks (a note taking section) .
My favorite part is the “What to Say” section. It gives you 8-10 prompts for helpful things to say to your spouse in the following categories: “To Empower”, “To Fight Anxiety”, “To Promote Concentration “, “To Fight Despair”, and “To Relax”.
There is also a section of what NOT to say and do which is really helpful, rather than being overly simple and obvious. For example, a reminder to keep your eyes and attention on your husband, rather than on the contraction monitor screen.
So if you’re about to become a partner in labor supportwhether you have a doula on the team or not, grab a copy and learn some important tips to excel in this role you’ve found. 😉
