Helping LGBTQ+ Parents in Nursing Feel Comfortable and Heard
Ollie Knight, Birth and Postpartum Doula
When I think about alignment in the context of my work and doula training, I can think of no better training for me than becoming a certified lactation counselor (CLC). This has been my goal since I was a child, before I thought about becoming a doula. Now that I’m a doula, this goal makes more sense for me to pursue, because I think it will help me take my doula work to the next level.
For as long as I can remember, I have been a huge advocate for breastfeeding/breastfeeding. Some of my earliest memories are of my mother breastfeeding me, from when I was breastfed until I was three years old. My mom is an IBCLC, which meant my older brothers and I were exposed to all things lactation from a young age. While we were all supportive of breastfeeding/breastfeeding, I was the one who really went into my mother’s work. I went to her support groups, I helped out at world breastfeeding week events, and I read the books she owned about breastfeeding. I even take care of my own baby dolls! I learned a lot, both from my mother and doing my own research. Watching my mother support nursing parents made me passionate about parents being supported in their own feeding journeys, whatever that looks like for them. I know one day I want to help breastfeeding parents too.
I also know that not all caregivers are women. It was magnified for me when I finally came to terms with being trans. Most nursing books only use terms like woman, mother, and breast, which can make breastfeeding trans parents feel disbelieved and left out of the conversation. I want to help all breastfeeding parents, but helping LGBTQ+ breastfeeding parents feel comfortable and heard is a big deal to me. Using terms like breastfeeding, nursing, and parenting, can make a big difference in the lives of LGBTQ+ people, but especially trans people. I know some people are against using these terms, and we’d rather stick to gendered terms. However, this does not exclude you from including others. Trans parents, especially breastfeeding trans parents, are often not given the support they need. This is where I felt I would really excel as a CLC. I will be inclusive and understanding of the different journeys parents go through, and strive to support all different types of families.
Everyone’s feeding journey is unique to them, and deserves compassionate and non-judgmental care. While I understand the messages behind phrases like “fed is best”, I believe it should be “supported is best”. I want to support parents to make the choices that are best for them and their baby. Whether my prospective clients are exclusively breastfeeding/breastfeeding, exclusively pumping, combo feeding, or formula feeding, they should get the help and support they need to feel confident and advocate.
