17 March Onboarding Process – Q & A with Alternates Janet and Monica
Janet and Monica came to Same Love Surrogacy as a same-sex couple who wanted to embark on a surrogacy journey, together, as Gestational Carriers.
“I’m looking forward to seeing him in a way I’ve never seen him before. I look forward to pampering him in a way I have never done before. I look forward to watching him give, like I’ve never seen him give. I look forward to seeing him selflessly grow and bring new life into this world.” – Monica
Here’s a glimpse into their onboarding experience with Same Love Surrogacy’s, Surrogate Coordinator, Andrea Muehlhaus.
Q: What sparked your interest in surrogacy? Why did you decide to apply to be a surrogate?
Janet: I like to help others in any way possible, helping others create/expand families is no exception. I enjoyed being pregnant with my own children and I knew I didn’t want to have a child of my own because our family was complete; therefore, I felt that surrogacy was a perfect experience for me to help others by carrying a child that they could not do on their own.
Monica: Since I was a child, I knew then that I was a mother. I had my first child the “traditional” way. My second child I had to do things differently. I had to go through a sperm bank to get pregnant. I can’t imagine not having other choices in being a mother, so here I am making myself a human choice. I know there are many people out there who feel the same way about parenting as I do, and I would love nothing more than to help make it happen. A short trip from me will continue generations of another family’s legacy.
Q: Why did you choose to work with Same Love Surrogacy over other surrogacy agencies you may have contacted? What is it about SLS that you know best?
Janet: In all honesty, I started applying to other agencies before Same Love Surrogacy but their questions were broad, and their process seemed impersonal; so I didn’t continue their process. After a google search for the best surrogacy agencies, I found a list of top 8 agencies, Same Love Surrogacy was on that list. I checked out their website (www.SameLoveSurrogacy.com) and read that they are an agency that was inspired based on the personal experience of 3 gay dads who went through the surrogacy process itself. It sold me. Same Love Surrogacy is based on knowing firsthand what it’s like to go through this experience.
Monica: I chose Same Love Surrogacy because I am a product of the same love community. I can relate to the obstacles that same-sex relationships go through when it comes to building a family.
Q: How did you inform your support system and what were their initial reactions?
Janet: My main support system is my husband; he’s been on board since we first talked about it because he himself wants to help others. We are excited to go through this journey together.
Monica: So far so good, everyone is in the big smiles and “OMG” phase. I am very lucky to have people supporting me.
Q: The onboarding process includes (but is not limited to) collecting your prenatal and delivery records, most recent pap smear results, OB Clearance, IVF records (if you are a returning surrogate), background checks, Zoom interview, home visit, health insurance examination, and a psychological examination. How was the SLS onboarding experience for you?
Janet: The onboarding experience has been smooth sailing since Day 1. We have direct contact with our coordinator, Andrea, if we have any questions. Retrieving records may take time depending on your provider including reviewing said records. The background check, zoom interview, home visit, health insurance check and psychological home visit were done quickly but very efficiently. Andrea guided us through the entire process wonderfully.
Monica: At first, I was nervous because I didn’t know what to expect, I felt like my life would be judged and criticized by people who didn’t even know me. That is not the case at all. The woman on my team made me feel so comfortable, she made it easy to just be me. Any help we need is just a text away. In my experience every step went well except my OB clearance. Depending on your health care provider, you may experience a small, time-consuming, but this does not take away from the positive experience of the rest of the process.
Q: How long does the process take from the time you submit your application online to being available for matching with Intended Parents?
Janet: The application was submitted at the end of November-beginning of December 2022. The profile became available in the middle of February 2023. It took about 2 months to start the matching process.
Monica: I submitted my application in November 2022 and was matched on February 23, 2023.
Q: In Same Love Surrogacy, surrogates have their own coordinator, separate from the Intended Parent’s own coordinator. What has been your experience working with your Alternate Coordinator so far?
Janet: I really like Andrea, as mentioned before she has been amazing in this process, she is always available to answer all questions. I love that we can reach her directly especially by text message.
Monica: My Coordinator is amazing. He was easy to talk to, like a friend, so I didn’t hesitate to text him any question even though I thought it was something I should know the answer to. I truly believe that having a good coordinator is the foundation to having a fun and successful trip. Imagine spending months coordinating something that should be life-changing with someone with the attitude of a DMV clerk.
Q: Before starting the surrogacy process did you have any concerns and if so, what concerns did you have? Did your coordinator discuss and alleviate your concerns?
Janet: Actually, not really [any concerns]. We did our research beforehand and Andrea was very thorough.
Monica: I honestly don’t remember having any concerns, but it was very early in the process. I know Andrea has my back if needed.
Q: Sharing your surrogacy journey with your husband is an incredible opportunity, what are you most looking forward to when starting this process?
Janet: I am so excited about sharing the whole pregnancy experience with my husband as we both enter this marriage with our own children; we missed each other’s pregnancy journey. I think it’s something amazing to experience together. We have each other’s support with things like appointments, aches/pain, pampering, lust and all the good things that come with pregnancy, while fully understanding what the other is going through.
Monica: I look forward to seeing him in a way I’ve never seen him before. I look forward to pampering him in a way I have never done before. I look forward to watching him give, like I’ve never seen him give. I look forward to seeing him selflessly grow and bring new life into this world.
Q: What words of advice do you have for someone thinking about becoming a surrogate themselves?
Janet: Do it. What will be lost? Many people want to have a family and can’t, why rob them of that joy when we can help.
Monica: Make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. You should be ok with arranging your lifestyle to ensure that you are healthy and safe to place someone’s baby.
If you want to share your surrogacy story with us, you can send an email to Andrea@SameLoveSurrogacy.com
