It may be the most wonderful time of the year for many, but for others December can be more mentally challenging than holiday cheer. If you find yourself struggling with symptoms of anxiety or depression during the holiday season, know that you are not alone.
We asked Marius Commodore, MD, a psychiatrist and director of mental health at Nurx and Thirty Madison, for his expert insights on how you can protect your mental health today.
Why can the holidays be hard on mental health?
There are several different reasons why the holidays can be a difficult time for people with anxiety or depression, and for others as well. At this time of year, large gatherings with family or groups of friends are expected, but what if you don’t have that kind of family or friend group, or are separated from your loved ones?
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On the other hand, if your holiday season is filled with large gatherings that can be challenging in other ways. If your family isn’t supportive of you or your choices, those gatherings can feel like performance instead of fun. In divorces and blended families, the logistics of moving between homes and family groups and trying to serve everyone’s expectations can be stressful. For people who host others over the holidays, the social and functional aspects of it can cause or exacerbate anxiety.
Finally, unfortunately for some people the holidays are associated with bad things, like losing a loved one who passed away during the holidays, or memories of a lost loved one that you love is on the vacation table.
Anyone can find these aspects of the holiday difficult on some level but it’s probably worse for someone who has dealt with depression or anxiety.
What’s your advice for taking care of mental health during the holidays?
There are things you can and should do to avoid stress and help yourself enjoy the holidays:
- You have to be honest with yourself about how much you can handle. Can you handle three events in one week? Two destinations for your vacation trip? Then do no more than that. Have a plan from the beginning. Talk to your family about what you want and what their expectations are, and deal with it all.
- Take time for yourself. Even at a gathering or when you are staying with family or with them, you can sit outside or in a quiet room for 20 minutes to center yourself.
- Stick to some of the activities that give you peace. If you are a runner, keep running. If you go to religious services, continue to do so. If you regularly volunteer or see a certain group of friends for dinner, stick to that routine, even if you’re with family. Keep activities that keep you centered.
- Unplug from work. I know it’s hard, especially if you work remotely and the division between home time and work time is blurred, but it’s important for your mental health to have a few days when you really unplug.
- Keep moving. As the days get shorter, darker and grayer, it’s normal to feel less motivated or energetic. It’s definitely okay and even healthy to relax and do nothing sometimes, but if you know that the short days make you feel bad, you can expect that and make a plan to get out and walk in the sunlight to improve the feeling
If the holidays are difficult for you, talk to a therapist. Surprisingly at this time of year, there are probably more appointments available due to cancellations and people traveling. Don’t assume you won’t find someone to talk to.
Of course if you’re already seeing a therapist or other mental health professional, talk to them and develop a game plan for how you’ll deal with holiday stressors. They say “no plan survives contact with the enemy” but it’s still better to have a plan. Plan how you will deal with your difficult sibling, so when you see him you have an idea of how you can fix things.
If someone is struggling during the holidays, how do they know if their symptoms are normal or temporary, or if they should seek treatment?
During the holidays or any time of the year, you should pay attention to whether something that used to bring you joy no longer interests you or is now just creating anxiety. If you find it difficult to get yourself to do the things you used to do, it could be a sign that you are slipping into depression.
Yes, the holidays can be stressful for anyone, but two weeks after the holidays you should start feeling like your normal self. Two or three weeks into January, you should feel like you’re back, but if the holidays are over and you can’t get motivated, can’t find energy, can’t approach things with joy and happiness, those may be signs to ask for help If you realize that it’s not just the holidays, and those symptoms persist, you need to do something about it.
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If you are experiencing symptoms of anxiety or depression, you can request an online evaluation and prescription treatment from the Nurx medical team at any time — no appointment necessary.
The information provided in this article is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. You should not rely on the content provided in this article for specific medical advice. If you have any questions or concerns, please talk to your doctor.
