Some people go through the process of exploring their sexuality and feel satisfied that they know what they want and how they identify. For others, understanding and exploring their sexuality can be a long journey. Unfortunately, we live in a society where exploring outside the strict confines of heteronormativity is often discouraged. And for many people, exploring and expressing their sexuality may not be safe because of their legislators and/or the people around them. But you are safe in Bedsider. We love you, we live for your fulfillment, and we think investing in knowing who you are is always wonderful. If you know you want to explore your sexuality, but aren’t sure where to start, we have some ideas for you:
1. Start with curiosity
Approaching any situation with curiosity, even those that may feel a little scary or confusing, allows you to get the most out of the experience. And of course, curiosity is the key to self-discovery. So start by asking yourself simple questions like, “What am I fantasizing about?” and, “Who was my crush?” The answers may make your next steps clearer.
2. Take or leave the labels
We describe sexuality and sexual orientation as a spectrum for a reason. There are infinite points on a spectrum, and you can be anywhere you want—in a fixed place, in many places at once, or in different places at different times. If researching labels (like looking at the many facets of asexuality) helps you understand yourself better, and you feel good about categorizing where you fit in, then that’s great! If labels feel confining, detracting, unnecessary, or bad for any reason, skip them! You are you, and that’s all that really matters.
3. Experiment with respect
If you find you want to take the next step, trying new things and indulging in fantasies can be a great way to figure out what you want. You can do this alone or with a partner or partners. Be sure to be clear with any partner about what you’re looking for—as always, it’s not good to give the impression that you’re interested in something, like a relationship or even a situation, when you’re not.
4. Don’t forget that birth control is also for LGBTQIA+ people
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again—there are so many reasons why LGBTQIA+ people use and benefit from birth control. One of them is the prevention of pregnancy. Whether you or a partner can get pregnant does not depend on how you or they meet. The only thing that matters when it comes to whether you or they get pregnant is what body parts you have, what body parts they have, and what you do with them. If one of you has a penis and the other has a penis, uterus, and ovaries, and you have penis-in-vagina sex (aka receptive frontal sex), pregnancy can happen. So if pregnancy is possible for you based on your situation, check out your birth control options and find the one that’s right for you.
5. Stay on top of your sexual health
While other forms of birth control can help you prevent pregnancy, only condoms and internal condoms can both prevent pregnancy AND provide STI protection (and we love a good 2-for-1). Other types of STI protection that don’t prevent pregnancy at the same time with dental dams, gloves, and PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis). PrEP is a daily pill or an injection that you can get every two months to reduce your risk of getting HIV. And getting regular STI testing is a good practice.
Enjoy the journey and know that we are here for you!
