Say Goodbye to Mommy Guilt — Cloud Nine Birth Services | Birth Doula Services | Postpartum Doula Services
Hug well. There’s a whole theory of parenting called Good Enough parenting that says it’s better to raise children as a good parent, rather than a perfect parent. The best parents are involved enough but also flawed enough. Supermom is a myth and nothing feeds Mommy Guilt like trying to hold yourself and your kids to an impossible standard. One of the best things you can do for yourself and your children is to learn to embrace your individuality and see your limitations as part of the package of wonderful parenting qualities you already have. Your limitations can be opportunities to teach your children about how to deal with failure and mistakes. Plus, your kids will eventually learn that you’re not perfect; that they are not perfect. They might as well figure that out sooner rather than later and learn how to embrace their strengths and weaknesses. It helps children cope with disappointment and learn to roll with the punches. Isn’t it a relief to know that your “good enough” is actually better than perfect?
Focus on the Good. Mommy Guilt loves to keep your mind stuck on your failures. One way to escape feeling guilty is to spend a few hours each day listing or journaling what you did well that day. Even if it’s as simple as hugging my children, or keeping my children alive – celebrate it! It may also include taking care of me, or showing love to my husband. Try to think of any positive set of examples, gifts given, words spoken, healthy snacks eaten. Take time each day to just think about what you do well as a mother. This is not the time to think about what you should be doing or what you would like to do better. This is the time to remember what you have done and are doing well. You’ll be surprised how this list grows over time and each day you’ll become more aware of your strengths as a mother than your weaknesses.
Share the love. A great way to combat Mommy guilt is to turn the attention to someone else. Motherhood is a sisterhood and we all need each other to do this thing well and raise our beautiful children into functioning, caring adults! Who are the mothers in your life that you admire? Who are the women who inspire you? Take some time to let them know. Text them some words of encouragement. Write them a note. Send them a gift. Your encouragement can be a healing balm to their soul – and perhaps just the help they need to break free from their own Mom Guilt.
Friends, let’s make a pact to leave Mommy guilt in the past. Let’s be okay with being real moms, let’s focus on where we succeed rather than fail, and let’s give each other a little TLC so we can be great moms who will raise the next generation of caring kids!
