This week on the PWCB blog, we’re talking all things sex.
It’s incredible to think that such a small word can produce so much power. It grabs our attention, excites us, distracts us, and forces us to speak in hushed tones behind closed doors. With all its effects, meaning and magnitude, sex is something most of us never learn to talk about.
We entrust sex education to high school health teachers and the pornography industry, and we wonder why we struggle with sexual relationships, especially when our families and children grow up. In this transition to parenthood, our reproductive systems are involved on every level, but we don’t talk about sex in childbirth classes or on parenting forums. Sometimes we don’t talk about it with friends or partners.
For biological mothers, the parts of our bodies with which we are conditioned to define sexuality have changed, and are now incredibly utilitarian. However, we are confused, disappointed, and perhaps afraid or ashamed when our relationship with sex and sexuality changes. We often hear our clients asking: “What happened? What went wrong? What is wrong with me?”
There is nothing wrong with you! If we’re looking for a culprit for the difficult feelings we experience, we need look no further than societal norms that keep this subject shrouded in mystery and set inappropriate expectations for how we should feel. , appearance and action.
If you are raising children and are concerned about your relationship with sexual intimacy or desire, you are definitely not alone. Some studies have shown that while nearly 90% of postpartum women resume sexual activity within 6 months of giving birth, up to 85% of women report significantly lower levels of sexual activity. which is fun and enjoyment up to 18 months after birth.
We often hear concerns in therapy sessions about decreased libido, differences in desire between partners, and physical pain or unpleasant changes associated with intercourse after birth. Exhaustion, being ‘touched,’ frustration, resentment, and feelings of rejection and abandonment are all playing out in our rooms, and we don’t know what to do.
The first step in doing something about this concern, like so many concerns we face as parents, is to turn to it. Cultivate curiosity, and see if you can mingle with a little bravery.
Your first assignment is to turn to the topic of sex, be curious, and start talking. We’ll have more ideas to share in the coming months!
