If you are struggling with mom guilt, know that you are not alone. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to overcome this for good and stop feeling guilty.
As I see it, mom guilt is an inevitable part of motherhood. We take care of our little ones; we want to show up as often and as much as possible. Of course, sometimes we’re not there (and things don’t always go according to plan), so mom guilt can creep in.
It’s important to recognize that mom guilt is shared, common, and manageable.
What is mom’s fault?
Mom guilt is best described as a strong or mild feelings of guilt or shame associated with motherhood. These feelings often arise when mothers feeling they not living up to their or others’ expectations of parenting.
The important thing to remember is that Mom guilt comes in many forms and can be felt for a variety of reasons. From personal expectations to the influence of social media to unrealistic societal standards, mom guilt is widespread and a shared experience for many.
Four tips to overcome mom guilt
- Accept the feeling
- Expect to feel it
- Remind yourself that everything is okay
- Check-in and shift
1. Accept the feeling
Mom felt a strange sense of guilt because it felt like we had done something wrong. Guilt traditionally implies guilt.
But for mom’s fault, we didn’t do anything wrong; like we have. Mom guilt is a unique breed of emotion that we, as mothers, can feel. And that’s fine.
2. Expect to feel it
We can almost predict when we’ll be guilty: leaving the house for a date night, coming home from work, forgetting the babe’s favorite blanket at home even though she’s asked for it ten times.
We know this from history we probably feel bad, but we hope it will be different; My fingers are crossed that I won’t feel guilty this time. Lust is sweet, but not—mom guilt persists.
It seems counter-intuitive, but Expecting to feel guilty is useful. By anticipating the feeling, the feeling is less intense upon arrival.
3. Remind yourself “you’re okay, they’re okay, it’s okay”
remember that you are not doing anything wrong. You are probably doing the right thing. Ideally, you make time to do something that promotes your fulfillment besides being a mother.
Your babe may experience some difficulty, that helps the child develop resilience. It is healthy. Remember that all feelings are temporary, and the feeling of mom guilt will pass.
4. Check-in and shift
When the pain of mother’s guilt strikes, check with yourself. See if you can change your perspective by reframing the experience.
For example, “Ugh, I feel bad. This is our second date night this month. Do we have to leave tonight? The baby seems very upset with the new sitter. Let’s go back inside.”
Reframe it to: “I know I feel guilty. I expected this feeling, and it’s okay to feel this way. The baby is in safe and loving hands and will be fine. My marriage was strengthened by date nights. This is important. We’re all fine.”
Supportive mom guilt quotes
From the editor: we’ve put together some helpful – and funny – quotes about mom guilt to help you feel less alone. We hope you enjoy them as much as we do!
Quote: “You don’t have to balance it completely. Motherhood is a constant struggle of a little time there, a little time here, and feeling a little guilty all the time.” – Halle Berry
Quote: “Parenting is not about perfection; it’s about intention and connection.” -Not known
Quote: “Mama, you will struggle. There will be days when you’re not the best mom, and as soon as the kids go to bed, your brain is filled with mom guilt. Do not give up. You are allowed to have bad days. Those days don’t define you.” – Katie Hendrickson
Quote: “If you’re experiencing mom guilt, take a deep breath, and let it go. Don’t let it define you. Let it come and go as it will.” – Marissa Johnson
Quote: “It is not difficult to take care of a child; it’s hard to do anything else while taking care of a child.” – Julianne Moore
Quote: “It’s not about how much you do, but how much love you put into what you do that matters.” – Mother Teresa
Other resources that may help you
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