Meet Emily!
“I had a great experience working with family source. I felt supported, and loved throughout the journey. They quickly became like family. And the family I didn’t know I was missing in my life but was so happy I found through this whole experience”
Emily is a first-time gestational surrogate who gave birth to a baby boy for a family in February 2023!
Q: What made you want to become a Substitute?
I want to be a surrogate because my three boys are my whole world, and if I can play a part in helping another family feel the way I feel about my family, then I want to do it. I look forward to the good, bad, happy, and sad times of being a mom, learning with my boys, and loving them through it. And I want to help another mother get to that place too.
Q. Who has been the most important person supporting your journey?
My husband and kids have been amazing throughout this journey. Being on an alternate journey, we went through some health issues, and my wife and kids were always there for me. That meant just talking to me about things, to get ice cream at the festival, or just to pray for me and the surrobaby. I couldn’t have done it without them.
My best friend Jenny was a huge support. He watched our kids when I wanted my husband at MFM appointments, he always let me bounce ideas around with him, and he prayed for me and the baby the whole time.
My IPs are simply amazing and a huge support. Even if they can’t come to the appointments in person, they always want to be there for support via a phone call which is great because I don’t feel like I’m walking this unknown journey alone. They always ask how I am and how the baby is doing.
Q. What made you decide to choose your Intended Parents?
My husband and I chose our parents because they were encouraging from the beginning of our meeting. They are very kind and sweet. In the video of our meeting, our youngest was glued to me, and our intended parents went with the flow, and welcomed our son into the meeting, knowing and understanding that sometimes parenting doesn’t go to plan, and it takes we just adjust. We also all want an open and honest channel of communication and that is important to all of us to keep the baby safe throughout the journey.
Q. What were some of the highlights of your trip?
Some of the highlights of this trip were being together to find out the gender of the baby. The friendship that made the whole thing. And for me as well as my husband and both intended parents to be allowed together in the operating room to finally meet the baby!
Q. Do you have any advice for women interested in becoming a gestational surrogate?
Come to the experience with an open mind, but knowing that this journey will be different than all previous births. The journey may look and feel different but it is all totally worth it when you see the intended parents looking at their baby for the first time or holding their baby for the first time, every ounce of the journey will be worth it. One of the easiest decisions I’ve ever made.
Q. How has being a surrogate affected your life?
Being a surrogate is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever done. I know my stories will help others decide to help IPs!
Q. What have you found to be the biggest misconception people have about surrogacy?
When I first told friends and family that we were going to be a surrogate, most of them were still confused as to what that meant. Many times people asked me so it’s yours and your husbands baby that you give to other families like adoption. Thus explains the difference between surrogacy and adoption
Q. What do you wish other people knew about surrogacy?
You will have so many people supporting you on this journey, you may have people looking at you like you are crazy for putting your body through all of this for someone else’s family. But in either case having open and honest conversations is helpful for everyone during the journey
Q. How has being a surrogate affected your life?
It showed me how much better life is doing with others. It reminded me how good it is to be a mother even on the hardest days. It showed me my passions in life and showed me how stressful and impactful being a “high-risk pregnancy” can be – so I’m going back to school to become an ultrasound tech for high-risk pregnancy! I can be the person who supports moms and families when they are at high risk and need that good image to help baby and mom stay safe for the rest of the pregnancy.
Q. Was this pregnancy different than your other pregnancies? If so, how?
Yes, this pregnancy was very different from mine. I became “high-risk” at 20 weeks when my blood pressure went up. So from that point on, I had weekly appointments and lab draws every week to make sure I wasn’t headed for preeclampsia. Being high-risk so early meant I had to have BPP at 32 weeks along with NST l. With this baby, I had so many extra appointments and extra eyes on me and baby all the time. The pregnancy ended with an emergency C-section at 34 weeks and 5 days because the labs were unstable, and now in the preeclampsia stage. And to keep baby and I safe, we had to deliver that early. With my kids, they were all 38.5 weeks to 39.5 weeks, so the preemie delivery was a little more emotional than I had planned.
Q. How did you prepare yourself for separation from the baby after birth?
I knew from the beginning it wasn’t my baby, but I loved the baby and I knew it wouldn’t be coming home with me. I prayed for a strong, fighting baby every day. But I also reminded myself that I can love my friends’ babies but know they’re not mine, and that’s how I look at it. I can love this surro babe and love this baby for the intended parents but know that it was not going to come home with me
Q. What do you want someone thinking about working with a surrogate to know?
Not everything will go to plan, but in the end, it will all be worth it. Just breathe and try to enjoy the journey.
Learn more about being a surrogate by submitting a request for information, or start your surrogate application today!
