Let’s face it: TV shows and movies aren’t always accurate sources of information! However, they can have a huge influence on our opinions and beliefs, especially when it comes to sensitive topics like surrogacy!
Surrogacy often gets a bad rap in the media, and that can extend to the storylines we see in film and television. Unfortunately, most viewers don’t understand how inaccurately the surrogacy process is often portrayed, leaving many intended parents with the wrong idea about why women become surrogates and how strict are the criteria that surrogates have to meet.
Well, we’re going to set the record straight. Here are the top 3 things surrogacy TV shows and movies get wrong.
On-screen: You can become a surrogate if you haven’t gotten pregnant yet
Reality: No!
Surrogacy agencies and fertility clinics in the United States will not accept someone as a surrogate if they have never been pregnant before — for obvious reasons!
And it’s not just a standard set by surrogacy agencies. Many states in the US have laws that require prospective surrogates to prove that they have had a baby before.
Unfortunately, this is not the movie Baby Mama I hope the viewers believe. In the 2008 comedy starring Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, a single businesswoman (Kate) hires a working woman (Angie) to be her successor. Strangely, Angie has not yet become pregnant, but it appears that she can undergo IVF treatment at a surrogacy center. IVF failed, so she pretended to be pregnant to receive her surrogacy compensation.
It turns out she is pregnant – but with her husband, not through IVF. Again, the film gets one important detail wrong. Surrogates are contracted to follow medical protocol, so an “accidental” pregnancy like this would be highly unlikely.
Prospective surrogates must demonstrate that they previously carried a pregnancy to term without complications and gave birth to a healthy baby. After all, Intended Parents have poured their hopes and dreams into this journey – not to mention a large sum of money – so it makes sense that they expect the best chances of a successful outcome.
This requirement also protects the surrogate. Pregnancy is a physically and emotionally demanding journey, and you won’t know how capable you are until you experience it.
On-screen: there is no difference between gestational surrogacy and traditional surrogacy
Reality: No!
In a 2018 episode of the sitcom Rose Anne, one of the main characters (Becky) decides to become a surrogate. She said she would use her own eggs, which would make her a traditional surrogate.
Well, it’s probably not. Traditional surrogacy is relatively uncommon today, and some states have banned it entirely. Gestational surrogacy is the most common and legally safest form of surrogacy today.
Traditional surrogacy and gestational surrogacy are two different things. In traditional surrogacy, a woman carries a pregnancy created using her own egg and the Intended Father’s sperm. That means, the child he gave birth to is genetically related to him.
In gestational surrogacy, the embryo is created using the egg of the Intended Mother or egg donor and the sperm of the Intended Father or sperm donor. The embryo will be transferred to the surrogate’s uterus through IVF (in vitro fertilization). This means that the surrogate is not the child’s biological parent.
On-screen: The alternates are only in it for the money
Reality: NO!
Here’s where the TV show is Rose Anne making a mistake again. Not only does Becky claim to use her own eggs, she freely admits that she only becomes a surrogate for profit. In other words, surrogacy is portrayed as a ticket to financial security that would otherwise be unavailable to someone without a high school diploma (which, by the way, is another requirement for being a surrogate).
Yes, surrogates are paid generously. But no, that’s not the only reason they became surrogates!
Professional surrogacy agencies will only accept applicants who are genuinely motivated to help someone else start a family. Rigorous screening procedures will quickly weed out anyone who is in financial trouble and/or is only interested in compensation.
Being a surrogate isn’t just about the money. It’s about helping another individual or couple achieve the dream of becoming a parent. Surrogates are paid for the time and commitment involved in nurturing a healthy pregnancy, attending appointments, and maintaining a relationship with your IPs, not to mention dealing with an element of risk.
And let’s face it: there are easier ways to make money than carrying someone else’s child!
Learn more about becoming a gestational surrogate
Want to hear more about the reality of surrogacy? Contact our friendly FSC team. Most of our staff have had personal experience with third-party reproduction, whether as an egg donor, a surrogate, or an IP.
In each case, they will know the answer to any question you may have about the process. Call us today!
