This morning I have something special for you. Someone else’s voice. A mother’s voice. A mother like you who struggled and worked and moved and grew up.
So, this December morning I offer you his words on relationships and pauses and boundaries and truth.
Oh, and mental health 😉
Enjoy.
I have always wanted to feel what peace feels like. Over the past decade, I have worked on myself and practiced many different techniques. I’ve come a long way, but some of the things I’ve learned haven’t been fully integrated into my personality until recently.
This summer when I visited my family, the truest test as “they” say, I put my tools and powers to use. With a little nudge from my therapist, I was reminded that I do indeed have the skills to set boundaries to avoid tension, stress and anxiety.
Fast forward just a few months later, I was set to spend the weekend with three of my dearest friends from the 90s. One night, quite organically, topics like masks, Covid and LBGTQ came up. I felt my heart rate increase, it was a familiar feeling and I noticed anxiety, uncertainty, and self-protection. I listened to their opinions that were different from my own. But instead of reacting with self protection or defensiveness, I stopped.
I love these girls. They are my chosen family. We have a history together—the good old days. In that moment when I stopped, I went inside…I thought, “My response today could change our friendship forever. I may spoil this weekend with my response. I can preach. But wait… they have their own beliefs just like mine.” And I calmly responded, “I completely disagree” and that was it. No fight, no drama, nothing else to say.
I will never forget that moment when I deliberately decided to stop and breathe instead of choosing to be reactive; and for me, that is the feeling of peace.
– Mother of 2 school age children
