As new parents, “sleeping through the night” is often the pinnacle of success we strive for (on behalf of our baby) in the early months. It makes sense that it has so much appeal, because the more our baby sleeps, the more we can finally get the rest we need. But what is being done sleeping all night really mean? And is this a realistic expectation for babies?
What does it mean to sleep through the night?
To begin, let’s define the term. For adults, sleeping all night usually means sleeping for 8 hours without interruption. But for babies, “sleeping through the night” means something completely different — and it’s something that changes your baby’s development. For a newborn, this might mean sleeping for 4 hours at a stretch, while for a 6-month-old, it might mean sleeping for 6 hours. It’s not until about 10 to 16 months old that a baby can begin to reliably sleep for longer stretches, up to 8-13 hours at a time.
Why does nighttime sleep look different for babies?
Babies have shorter sleep cycles than adults. They also need to wake up more often for feeding. This is especially true for breastfed babies: human milk is lower in calories than formula, so breastfed babies burn the available calories in a shorter amount of time and need to eat more often. Additionally, infants have a strong need for physical contact and emotional connection with their primary caregivers; night waking and feeding are designed to meet these needs. These little soirées also provide much-needed bonding and socio-emotional development for babies: studies show that babies who have more skin-to-skin contact with their parents, especially a nurturing parent, in the first weeks and months of life have better emotional regulation and better lifelong sleep habits.
Newborn sleep
In the first few weeks of life, newborns usually sleep for short periods, anywhere from 16 to 18 hours in a 24-hour period. They may wake up every 2 to 4 hours to feed, which can be challenging for parents who are still recovering from birth and adjusting to life with a new baby.
Baby sleep
As babies grow, their sleep patterns begin to change. Around 2-3 months of age, many babies begin to develop more consistent sleep patterns, with longer durations of nighttime sleep. For example, a 3-month-old baby can sleep for 5-6 hours at night.
By 6 months of age, some babies have dropped their evening feeds and will sleep 6-10 hours straight at night. At this stage it is still very normal for many babies to wake up once or twice to feed.
Sleep at the end of the first year
As babies approach the first year, their sleep patterns begin to resemble those of adults. They can sleep 8-13 hours at night. However, some babies may continue to wake once during the night for feeding or comfort until they are close to their first birthday.
You may notice, as you introduce more solid foods, as your baby becomes more mobile, and as your baby experiences further mental and emotional development, that their sleep needs may change, along with their sleep schedule.
It’s important to remember that these are general trends, and every baby is different. Some babies may sleep longer or shorter than others at any age. Also, some babies may develop a consistent sleep pattern earlier or later than others.
Adapting and flexing to meet your baby’s developmental needs
It’s normal to struggle with being sleep deprived in your baby’s infancy; Babies have different needs and sleep patterns than what is normal and healthy for us as adults. As difficult as it may be, however, it helps to recognize that frequent night wakings are a normal and necessary part of a baby’s development. With that recognition, you can reduce the focus on “sleeping through the night” (which may not be a realistic goal for baby sleep at a given stage). This can leave you space to instead prepare and resource yourself for the sleep challenges of early parenthood, and focus on meeting your baby’s age-appropriate needs for feeding, interaction and convenience.
As postpartum doulas, we talk to clients about the “tunnel” of the early postpartum period – parenting a new baby is hard, and sleep deprivation is no joke! If you find that your lack of sleep is becoming overwhelming at any stage, seeking support from sleep consultants and overnight doulas can help establish healthy sleep habits for you and your baby, can help you feel supported and less alone, and can help you use opportunities to rest and recharge.
Understanding, and then working to meet, your child’s developmental needs is an ongoing learning curve — and it can feel especially bad when you’re sleep-deprived. So, in this as in many aspects of parenting: give yourself grace; trust that meeting your baby’s needs now will pay off in the long run; remember that there are resources to support you; and know that this, too, shall pass.
Camilla Rae is the co-founder of Full Circle Sleep. As a birth doula, postpartum doula, newborn care specialist, and certified lactation counselor, she brings years of experience and insight to her work with families. Full Circle Sleep offers a discount to Bridgetown Baby families! Learn more and get sleep support here.
