For some, getting sex after birth is exciting. For others, it’s scary. Regardless of how you feel, you may still experience pain during postpartum sex. Here’s what you need to know.
You’ll get the green light to have sex at your six-week postpartum well-check. Are you feeling nervous? Excited? Complete and utter dread?
All reactions are expected, and to be clear, there are there is no set number of weeks when you are “ready” for penetration. Yes, you want to wait until you are fully recovered so you don’t enter the infection or open the wound.
Other than that, you want to wait until you feel ready.
It’s important to remember that if you are not mentally prepared to have sex, your body will respond with tension and increasing the chance of disease.
What are some other reasons why sex after birth can be painful?
- Your pelvic floor is too tight
- Vaginal tearing and scar tissue
- Changes and hormonal changes
- Lack of sleep
Your pelvic floor is too tight
Pregnancy itself can lead to postpartum sexual dysfunction. As the uterus grows, the abdominal muscles lengthen to give the baby room. This affects how your entire core can support you, including your pelvic floor.
These the muscles have to work harder to stabilize your pelvis as the baby grows and the pelvis expands. So no matter how you give birth, your pelvic floor is working hard for months. If these the muscles remain tight and overactiveit can make intercourse painful.
If you gave birth vaginally, your baby passes through your pelvic floor. These muscles are stretched up to 3x their average length for that to happen. Aren’t our bodies amazing? This incredible event can lead to muscle stiffness and spasms, which can last postpartum and make penetration difficult.
Vaginal tearing and scar tissue
Up to 90% of first-time mothers will have perineal tearing with vaginal birth. Scar will develop healing and can lead to tightening of the perineal tissues. Everyone heals differently and will have different levels of scar tissue.
When you are fully recovered, you can do a self-assessment test for sensitivity and scar tissue mobility. If you have any tenderness here, do some essential scar massage can help reduce the likelihood of sexually transmitted disease.
Changes and hormonal changes
In postpartum, hormone levels change, and you enter a “mini-menopause” state, which causes vaginal dryness and atrophy of your vaginal tissues. These changes will continue as long as you are breastfeeding.
These changes can lead to general pain, especially at the entrance, because the tissues lack lubrication and flexibility. Lube will be your best friend during these months, so find one that fits your body and put it on your nightstand. Use a good value directly to your tissue and your partner. Reapply as needed.
Some mothers are also great companions topical vaginal estrogen to help support their tissues, so ask your medical provider if this is a good option.
Lack of sleep
You might not think that sleep can directly affect your sex life, but it can! If you’re sleep deprived (what new mom isn’t?!), this will do affect your body’s ability to physically heal itself and increase your stress level, directly affects your pelvic floor.
Sleep is one of our most important self-care tools, so please focus on getting a good night’s sleep before a collapse in the sheets.
Final thoughts on venereal disease
Pain during intercourse is not normal, so if you have pain, please contact a pelvic floor physical therapist. Whatever the cause of your pain, there is something that can be done to help. Don’t live in pain. You deserve more.
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