Book Review of “You Are Not Alone” – An anthology of perinatal mental health stories
Book Review of You’re not alone – An anthology of perinatal mental health stories from conception to postpartum
You’re not alone Through the Canadian Perinatal Mental Health Collaborative
2022, Winterticle Press , Barrie, Ontario
Revised by Suyin Jordan CPD, CCCE, CNPE
I heard about this book from 2 parents who started a movement in Canada to improve perinatal mental health for parents in Canada. I can’t remember where I heard about their trip but it inspired me to pick up their book and how wonderful it was. This collaboration is by Patricia Tomasi is the co-founder and executive director of the Canadian Perinatal Mental Health Collaborative (CPMHC) with registered nurse and perinatal mood disorder coordinator, Jaime Charlebois.
“This anthology is timely,” said the anthology’s editor and creator, Patricia Tomasi. “Social isolation is a major factor in postpartum depression and our hope is that these stories and this book will help mothers know and feel that they are not alone, especially in light of the ongoing pandemic.” (Press release for the book at CPMHC.)
This book aims to remove the stigma surrounding prenatal and postnatal mental health and illness, providing hope and resources to expectant and new mothers, and their families. Whereas before the pandemic, one in five women suffered from prenatal or postpartum anxiety and depression, that number was one in three.
The book contains 49 real stories from parents who have gone through perinatal mental health illness from conception to the postpartum period. Contributors openly share their feelings, their struggles and triumphs through their perinatal journey. Each author bravely tells their story of their own experience in their own words and many of them have become fierce advocates.
There are also chapters written by leading experts in perinatal mental health who have contributed their knowledge, expertise and advice.
Before studying the book, there is an important mention about the content and a trigger warning that is useful to those who may have experienced the issues mentioned in the book and serves as a reminder to remember that what is written may cause some unwanted feelings and cause anxiety. I will share some excerpts from the book and thus I also warn that the content of this review may be triggering for some.
There is also a disclaimer stating that this book is not intended to provide medical advice for individuals.
The book is divided into five parts: 1) Preconception, pregnancy and childbirth; 2) Postpartum depression and anxiety; 3) Postpartum anger; 4) Postpartum bipolar disorder and psychosis; and 5) The pandemic.
Each part has several stories covering topics such as tokophobia; which include fear of pregnancy, infertility, post-adoption depression, motherhood, anxiety and fearful thoughts, postpartum bipolar disorder, postpartum anger, paternal depression experienced by partners and fathers and more.
Renowned perinatal mental health advocate Karen Kleiman and Dr. Nichole Fairbrother contributes a chapter on postpartum anxiety and intrusive thoughts.
There are also chapters written by many other incredible health care professionals including: Dr. Simone Vigod, Dr. Ariel Dalfen, Dr. Ryan Van Lieshout, Dr. Verinder Sharma, Dr. Anja Wittkowski, Dr. Gail Erlick Robertson, Dr. Jodi Pawluski, Dr. Lesley Tarasoff, Dr. Christine Ou, and Mark Williams, founder of International Fathers Mental Health Day and the #HowAreYouDad campaign.
The authors hope that the stories in the book help people realize that people experiencing Perinatal Mood Disorders (PMADs) are not alone and that there is a growing movement of advocates dedicated to bringing about change. on perinatal mental health services available to Canadians.
They just want people in Canada to have what people in the UK, Australia, and parts of the US already have—universal screening and timely access to the best evidence-based treatment for the most common complications of pregnancy and postpartum.
I would like to share some excerpts from the book.
Suicide is a leading cause of maternal death and rates of perinatal mental illness are higher for BIPOC and LGBTQ+ people. These are some thoughts from writers from the BIPOC, LGBTQ+ and indigenous communities.
In ‘Sweet Baby Ada’, Black mom, Candice Thomas of Barrie, Ontario shares her story of how she suffered from postpartum depression after the birth of her daughter during the pandemic:
I have days when I don’t get out of bed. I cry for hours, and sometimes just putting on my coat to go out for a walk feels like too much for me. I have to be strong for my daughters, but as the days go by, it becomes harder and harder.
Sweet Baby Ada by Candice Thomas, pg. 279
In ‘Worthy of Love’, native mother, Stephanie George shares her story of postpartum anxiety and intergenerational trauma.
We, as Indigenous women, are afraid to speak up. Society, while making progress, still doesn’t want to hear from us. Racism is rampant. It’s like we don’t belong because we’re told that. That also causes perinatal mental illness in our communities.’
Worth of Love by Stephanie George, pg. 126
In Postpartum Anger, Christine Ou talks about Perinatal anger and rage – the neglected mood problems of PMADs (Ou and Hall, 2018). He shared a quote from Emily Flake, New Yorker cartoonist and illustrator.
People say you don’t know what love is until you have children. BS. An emotion that you don’t really understand until you have a child is not love. It is anger.
page 218
There are also poems in each chapter, I will share one by one here
WELL, I’M NOT
“How are you feeling, love?” They said.
But, I don’t know what to answer.
A liquid fear slid down my throat
And I’m suffocating inside.
“How are you, dear?”, they asked.
When I know I’m not.
Why is there an assumption that I have to live with?
I’m learning to deal with so many things.
I didn’t sleep all night, My mind turned to mud.
I feel like I’m always on high alert.
This mom is really struggling.
“How can I help you, dear?”, they said.
Just drop by for a friendly chat.
Let me feel that I am not alone in this;
Huge from where I’m sitting.
“What do you need, dear?”, they asked.
Take the reins for one morning only.
Let me not cope until I thought of it,
Without making me feel like I can’t handle it.Leander Moore @postpartumpoet – pg 208
At the end of most stories, the contributors leave a way you can connect with them which is also a nice touch. Similarly, at the end of the chapters written by health professionals, they also leave their contact details. This will be a useful resource for readers if you want to connect with them in the future. These chapters also provide valuable resources for referral and what to do if you suspect someone is going through PMADs.
The book is very well referenced with all the references grouped in the 5 chapters where they are quoted.
I found the book very easy to read and the stories of the contributors were compelling and gave me insight into the many different perinatal mood disorders (PMADs). It helped me understand and gain some knowledge of how different PMADs can manifest and what people can feel when they have these PMADs. I personally can relate to postpartum depression and anger chapters, having experienced these feelings after having babies. Although I was never formally diagnosed, I think I suffered from prenatal anxiety and depression with my first pregnancy and postpartum anger and depression with my second.
I feel the book is required reading for doulas and perinatal educators. PMADs affect so many people and their families. Being aware of how common and normal it is, normalizes and reduces the stigma still attached today to mental health challenges in the perinatal arena. Knowing how PMADs can present can help us know when our clients need to be referred to their health care professionals for evaluation. The earlier it is diagnosed, the sooner support can be sought and treatment can begin if necessary and the sooner parents and their families can improve and make more positive changes in parenting.
From the resource chapter, I am sharing some of the resources here:
CANADA
USA
UK
Australia
- PANDA, Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia
www.panda.org.au
National Helpline: 1300-726-306
About the Author/Reviewer
Suyin Jordan RGN, RM, CPD, is a CAPPA trained and certified postpartum doula, a CAPPA trained birth doula, lactation educator and childbirth educator. She joined the CAPPA faculty as a postpartum doula trainer 4 years ago.
Suyin left Malaysia at the age of 23 to undertake nursing and midwifery training in the UK and worked as a nurse and midwife in England for over 20 years. She has been a Doula in Canada for over 9 years working in and around Toronto and the GTA.
Suyin has two adults of her own and is passionate about supporting individuals and families as a whole and to ensure healthier outcomes, both mentally and physically. Respecting all cultures and traditions, Suyin believes that the role of a doula should be flexible to help those with few or no relatives as well as those with strong networks.
Suyin believes in a strong and supportive organization that promotes the vision of Doulas as professionals in the Doula field. Her background is evidence-based and her goal is to encourage Doulas to reach their potential, support and guide Doulas who want to achieve certification and engage in continuing professional development (CPD), help them set and achieve their goals.
Suyin speaks several languages including English, Malay, Hokkien, Cantonese and some Mandarin. Her hobbies include Knitting and crochet, scrabble on-line, cooking and healthy eating, yoga, fitness and looking after the family pets. Her mission is to feed the world and make everyone happy (her work as a doula and her devotion to her family help her achieve this in some small part!). If Suyin can get his life back he will become a farmer; grow all kinds of crops while taking care of the farm and all the farm animals.
