To all fathers-to-be,
Maybe you haven’t felt a change in these months until your child is born. In fact, you may feel like you’re waiting around and the real work begins when the baby arrives.
Even if your life hasn’t changed much (yet), I can almost guarantee that your partner will be quite different. Maybe they are sick, maybe they are tired, maybe they are really excited, maybe they are insecure and maybe they are scared. Everyone is different and every pregnancy is different. What is almost no different: how much your partner needs your support right now.
If you want to be there for your partner but don’t know where to start, here are some words of advice, from a mom who’s been there.
3 ways to support your pregnant partner
1. Support, support and more support
Support can take many forms. It might help before you ask or ask your partner, “Hey, what can I do around the house that would really help right now?” It can be easy on your partner by circling their emotions. They do their best and balance the many changing hormones. Or the support could be praising her and saying something as simple as, “I think you’re doing great with everything that comes with pregnancy.”
Related: 6 ways to help ease your partner’s morning sickness
2. What he says goes (now).
Repeat after me: you are the supporter. Examples of this: Your partner thought hamburgers for dinner sounded ok, but while making them suddenly thought they smelled bad. Your role is to say, “No problem, let’s have someone else.” Or, maybe he doesn’t want your mom for brunch today. Take your mom out and it’s just you and her—it’s going to be great! She wants the nursery to be gray and you’re hoping for yellow. Maybe, let the little things go (probably you’re not the one admiring the walls while you’re pumping at 2am.)
3. Advocate for him
You are her advocate at doctor’s appointments, with the family and during childbirth. In all these important moments, you may be the one people look to for answers. If you’re going to a doctor’s appointment, discuss some questions first with your partner because he or she may be nervous or busy when you get there. Uncle Joe really wants to be in the hospital first after the baby is born, but is that what HE wants? If not, it’s up to you to deliver that gracefully. All sufferings are different—he may be in pain, he may be sick, he may be afraid, he may be filled with joy. It’s up to you to be reasonable and his advocate in these crucial moments.
Related: To my husband: When motherhood gets tough, you make it easy
You may think you’re doing these things—and maybe you are! But remember that asking him what he needs and listening goes a long way.
We know it can be hard for you to empathize with everything she is going through. We know your role as a supporter is not easy, but it is second to none. We need you more than ever. We want your help.
love,
Moms (and moms-to-be) everywhere
This story is part of The Motherly Collective contributor network where we showcase stories, experiences and advice from brands, writers and experts who want to share their perspective with our community. We believe that there is no single motherhood story, and that every mother’s journey is unique. By amplifying each mother’s experience and offering expert-driven content, we can support, inform and inspire each other on this incredible journey. If you are interested in contributing to The Motherly Collective please click here.
