“How do I stop worrying about the possibility of a miscarriage? I’m 13 weeks pregnant, and everything is fine so far, but I’m still panicking.” ~ WTE user Donna K
How I wish I could wave a magic “no worry” wand over you and all the other moms-to-be who find themselves stuck in pregnancy panic mode early in pregnancy, stressing over every symptom…or just as possible, the lack of symptoms. Overthinking and overanalyzing every twinge, every drop of discharge.
Let’s be real, here: worry is what we mothers do, and some of us are especially good at what we do — good at stress, especially in the first trimester of a first pregnancy. I know I worry a lot (in fact, my own early pregnancy anxiety actually motivated me to write a book that I hope will help parents not worry: What to Expect When You’re Expecting).
And it’s no wonder we’re worried. Here we are, raising a baby — a process that seems completely out of our control (but isn’t really, more on that later), taking place deep inside us without any visible, bring-it-to- baby- proof to the bank that everything is fine, at least between ultrasound appointments or heart rate checks, and definitely before the baby’s little movements have enough of a punch to feel. Even then, we were worried…was that a move? Or gas? Why did I feel kicked yesterday, but not today? Sure, I heard baby’s heartbeat at the last OB visit — but that was a week ago!
It’s hard not to worry about miscarriage, even though there’s absolutely no reason to worry about it — and the truth is, there’s less reason to stress and more reason to relax as you put the early pregnancy on hold ( when most miscarriages happen) behind you. All the more reason to breathe easier (or just continue breathing normally!): you know that everything is progressing normally. You’ve probably seen and heard your baby’s heartbeat, your doctor or midwife enjoying the growth of your uterus. All good (no, great!) signs that your pregnancy is on track and your baby is safely tucked away for the long, 40-or-so-week haul.
Your Guide to the First Trimester
Meanwhile, since baby has settled, you should try too. It can be helpful to think about all the positive steps you can take to make your baby’s stay in your womb healthier. “Doing” the positive helps you think positively, which in turn encourages more positive action and more positive thinking, a cycle you can feel good about breaking. If you haven’t already, eat as much as you can, challenging yourself to do a new healthy food every day (if you can still stomach it): walnuts, pumpkin seeds, wild salmon, kale , kiwi, baby broccoli, mango, farro, lentils, purple carrots, edamame, baked sweet potato fries, winter squash of all kinds, Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, whole-grain pizza. Start a practitioner-approved exercise routine (operational word: routine), which will not only help keep your pregnancy uncomplicated (talk about positive!), but has benefits for your baby (including perhaps , research shows, boosted brain power).
So, hopefully you’re committed to trying to reduce stress (and I talked you into at least a few levels down, if not completely, the worry with a little mom-to-mom reassurance). But don’t stop there. Now is also a good time to learn to manage the stress you have better — new mom stress, after all, is just around the corner. Take a prenatal yoga class to relax, body, mind, and soul, and to find your inner calm (it’s there..really!). Download some meditation apps, as well as some relaxing sound apps to quiet the background noise of worry. Another reason to do that exercise thing: the release of feel-good endorphins that come from exercise, which can boost your mood, and bring back that worry-frown. Also, don’t forget to de-stress…talk about it with your partner, your doctor or midwife, your best friend, your mum, other mums in the WhatToExpect message boards (who can almost certainly relate!), and of course me (you can always find me on my Facebook page, Instagramor Twitter below @HeidiMurkoff).
Just one thing to remember: a certain amount of stress is normal during pregnancy. But all-consuming stress, which interferes with daily life, with your work and relationships, with sleeping, with eating, with taking care of yourself as best you can, is not normal, and can a sign of pregnancy anxiety disorder or another pregnancy mood disorder that needs – and may benefit greatly from – treatment. So make sure you check in with your practitioner right away about excess stress that won’t help relieve anxiety.
Remember, the What To Expect family is always here for you, and so am I!
Here’s to less worry and more enjoyment of pregnancy.
hugs,
Heidi
Help me, Heidi! is a weekly advice column where What to Expect creator Heidi Murkoff answers your most pressing pregnancy and parenting questions. He discusses the things you’re desperate to know right now — so if you have a question, Heidi asked here or to Facebook and he might answer in an upcoming column. (Not sure if Heidi answered one of your questions? See other columns here.)
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