I’m not sure who coined the term “geriatric pregnancy” for any expectant parent over the age of 35, but I think they all owe us an apology. Personally, I won’t consider myself “geriatric” until I’m retired, living in a nursing home, and I’ve traded in my everyday mom leggings for some everyday sweatpants grandma’s
To give this unknown person some credit, it’s not the birth parents they’re calling geriatric in this situation—it’s their eggs. As hard as it is to accept, the life span of an egg is shorter than that of a human. So while you know that 40 is the new 30 and you may feel like you’re still living your best life, your remaining eggs have pretty much accepted their maternal age status. They’ve actually signed up for their AARP memberships and settled into their favorite seats to catch up on their stories on TV.
In 1960, the median age of “first birth” for parents is only 23 years old, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). With most birth parents becoming parents in their early 20s, there wasn’t as much buzz about “geriatric pregnancies” as there is today because in 2019, nearly 60 years later, the the median age has increased to 30 years old. With more people deciding to have children later in life, advanced maternal age is more relevant than ever.
What is Advanced Maternal Age?
The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) refers to the advanced age of the mother as a birth parent who is 35 years of age or older at the time of their estimated birth. This magic number is determined based on the point at which fertility declines and the risk of fetal genetic abnormalities increases.
Your 20s and early 30s are a relatively less complicated time to conceive, carry, and deliver a healthy baby; physically, you are fit and ready. After 35, however, things begin to change, biologically speaking. The closer you get to 40, the harder it will be to have a baby (and recover after the fact, too) or even carry a successful pregnancy to term. Kathy Gunderson of Ashburn, Virginia, gave birth to her children at ages 35 and 39. She recalls, “I conceived [my first] very easy. In fact, I was quite surprised at how easy it was. Shortly after she was born, I realized that I wanted her to have a sibling. However, this time it was not so easy to get pregnant. I began to wonder if I had waited too long and would never have a second child. That, I think, is the biggest downside to waiting. Time is precious and limited.”
However, more women over 40 are joining the first-time mom club than ever before, a shift largely influenced by the success of modern fertility treatments. Celebrity moms may appear to get pregnant easily and have children later in life; however, according to a leading New York OB-GYN, fertility expert, and high-risk pregnancy specialist Amos Grünebaum, MD, FACOG, “Most of the famous people you hear about having twins when they’re 45 or 46 are using egg donors. A lot of people don’t realize that it’s almost impossible to conceive naturally at this age.”
While it’s true that fertility declines dramatically every year over the past 35, if that’s the only thing holding you back from parenthood, you can solve it. in vitro fertilization (IVF) is expensive but gives good results when both egg and sperm are healthy samples.
However, fertility alone is not the only factor to consider; other risks are also associated with advanced maternal age.
Pregnancy Risks After 35
When a person over 35 conceives, the subsequent pregnancy is a minefield of possible complications. past 40, chromosomal malformation is more likely, increasing the likelihood of Down syndrome. Because of these risks, Doctors usually offer genetic counseling to women over 35.
In addition, gestational diabetes, preeclampsiaplacental abruption, placenta previa, and early birth is more likely with older birth parents. Over the course of their pregnancy, a parent over the age of 35 will typically have more test, ultrasounds, and office visits than someone in their 20s. Dr. advises. Grünebaum in more than 40 patients who sought an OB with a high-risk experience before even trying to conceive. A knowledgeable doctor can diagnose pre-existing health problems that may complicate pregnancy and then monitor closely throughout pregnancy for changes that may predict early delivery.
Patients of advanced maternal age may also experience additional challenges in the delivery room. Dilation may be slower or insufficient, and multiple births are more common; therefore, C-sections are often necessary for older first-time mothers.
And what happens when you recover from a C-section? Life with a newborn (or two) can be very exhausting. Christine Jarrow gave birth to twins at age 39. She admits, “I think my body had a harder time physically recovering from pregnancy,” and advises other parents-to-be to “get the best physical shape you’ve ever been in. so you can keep up with the little ones and enjoy every moment.”
And while not a health risk for parents over 35, there is a social aspect to consider, especially for new parents aged 40+. Since a 40-something new parent is outside the statistical norm, having a peer group to rely on is especially important. Certain struggles are unique to older parents, like being the oldest parent at preschool, having to correct strangers when they think you’re grandma, and worst of all, possibly dealing with the heartbreak of an incurable second loss. Having friends who sympathize can be a powerful lifeline. If you can’t find an existing support group in your area, consider starting one or joining an online community.
The Perks of Motherhood After 35
The risks of maternal age shouldn’t be underestimated, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t any benefits to waiting to enter parenthood until you’re a little older. Think back to life in your 20s (or even your early 30s); most of us are not financially secure, we are still thinking about our careers, and since The prefrontal cortex of the brain is not fully developed until we are 25 years oldwe probably don’t make the best decisions in life either.
Tricia Goyer, author of Life Interrupted: The Scoop on Being a Young Mom, says the hardest part about being a young mom for her (three kids at 22!) is making time for her marriage. “There were times when we didn’t have money, and we had to be creative about spending time together,” Goyer recalls. “We’re going to get ice cream and a movie and there is a date on the living room floor after we put our children to bed.”
Some might say that having a child early shapes who you are. On the contrary, at the age of 40, you have more time to know yourself; you can now apply yourself to parenting with a mature perspective, perhaps with more self-awareness.
In other cases, you may feel like you are racing against your biological clock. Back in your 20s, you might not be ready for kids; maybe you’re not in a committed relationship, or you’re with a partner who doesn’t want children, or life just happens, and the next thing you know—bam! You’re 40 years old, and you realize that you don’t want to miss the opportunity to become a parent. You can decide to have a child with a partner or to yourself by natural conception, in vitro fertilization (IVF), or intrauterine insemination (IUI). However, in such cases, the parents-to-be make a decision and a commitment to having a baby. Most likely, they want nothing more than to become parents and make the conscious decision and physical (and often financial) effort to conceive after the age of 35.
And let’s not overlook the fact that older parents have the advantage of life experience. Nancy London, MSW, author of Warm Bottles: First-Time Moms Over Forty, says, “I don’t agree that older mothers are more peaceful, but just because of the many seasons, we have a lot of wisdom.” He points out that younger parents are more prone to fall into the trap of imitating their own parenting patterns, whereas older first-time parents may have a deeper understanding of who they are and what kind of parents they want to be. “That’s a big, shining plus: If you’ve done a lot of work yourself, you have a lot to give as a person.”
As the median age of the mother continues to increase, “geriatric pregnancies” (seriously, yuck!) will be more topical and common. Fortunately, science has brought incredible fertility treatments to help us work with our poor, tired, dry old eggs, and with proper prenatal care, other risk factors can be be met and managed in a way that makes you feel safe and comfortable. Don’t worry, you’re still in your prime—no matter what your biological clock is trying to tell you.
