Mindfulness Meditation Practice and the Brain and Why it Matters in Motherhood. — Parent & Family Wellness Center
Don’t worry- I’m not going to tell you that you have to build an altar, light a candle every morning, sit cross-legged for an hour, or become a Zen master.
Though of course if those things call to you, be my guest- they can serve your mental health and well being in some way.
What I want you to know is that science reminds us, time and time again, that a regular mindfulness practice changes our brains and creates the opportunity for calmness, connection, and stress tolerance. And if you’re reading this, you know that having more of those things helps. You’re probably not at practice.
For most of us, and without regular practice, our thoughts run the show. Our thoughts take over, run wild, and create an outlook on life that is based entirely on how we think about things, rather than our actual experience of things. Our thinking moves from what happened in the past to what might happen in the future. We have an experience of regret or uncertainty, and our bodies feel tight or restless or numb. Our body is flooded with cortisol. In these frequent instances, if someone asks us a question, we may not be able to hear them accurately. It’s more likely that we don’t pay attention to small details. And we act in ways that we will later regret. Our non-present mind takes away from what is most important- what is happening right now.
Our reaction to past regret and future uncertainty is, in fact, a villain in this story. This is the reaction that causes discomfort and wants to take over. When this happens, we lose its power.
And, when that villain enters the scene, it’s hard to keep quiet! So many of us are in the habit of doing. Washing the dishes. Parenting is in the works. Doing organizing. Planning is done. Doing the talking. Thinking is done. Repairs are being made. Everything is done. And yes, of course there is a lot to do- you are a mother after all, but many of us keep moving and doing because when we really slow down, we feeling And as you will hear from me again and again, many of us are not taught how to really feeling and, instead, taught that any moment of emotional discomfort means something is wrong.
But, you will continue to hear here that there is no problem with discomfort.
So, what is mindfulness training? And why is it important? Mindfulness- The practice of meditation is defined by Merriam-Webster as a practice in which we
1) engage in meditation or contemplation and
2) engage in mental exercise (such as concentration on breathing or repeating a mantra) for the purpose of reaching a higher level of spiritual awareness
This practice teaches us to stay with what is is, right here at this moment. We learn not to get distracted or run away or think about what is happening right now. And right now, in this very moment, you’re ok. You always have been, and you always will be. Even during times of stress or pain or emotional challenge or uncertainty. For now, you’re fine. But we must be careful in this moment.
You get the drift?
Important and clinically sound research has proven time and time again that mindfulness meditation practice is especially beneficial for everyone (ie, you, moms) struggling with depression, anxiety, and chronic pain. What these studies show is that changes in brain activity in people who learn to meditate persist even when they are not meditating. What does this mean for you? This means that after a short practice (say just 5-10 minutes) of mindfulness-based meditation you will likely continue to stay grounded, in the moment, tolerant of stress and discomfort, and less focused in your thoughts for the rest of the day.
The whole day!
You see, with mindfulness practice, we learn to accept moving thoughts instead of engaging with them. We learn to accept the physiological effects of emotional distress rather than needing to eliminate it. We learn to ground ourselves in the here and now instead of being drawn away from the moment by those reactions to regret and uncertainty.
Let’s learn to stay here.
Because, most of the time, here- even the more challenging emotions and feelings, just come in the territory of being human. Of being a mother. Find me a mother who doesn’t have a zillion moments of discomfort and uncertainty and I’ll give you a million dollars.
And, for neuroscience enthusiasts like me, here are some key takeaways from the research:
• Long-term meditators (those people who have a regular and ongoing meditation practice) have longer gray matter in their brains as they age. Well-maintained brains are sharper.
• Mindfulness Meditation helps the annoying monkey brain that many of us have by limiting activity in the default mode network (DMN), which triggers thinking and thinking about ourselves and the outside world that world around us. As I know you know, these types of thoughts lead us to worry about the past and future which, inevitably, affects our sense of happiness and well-being.
• Meditation can even change the structure of the brain! Studies following Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) courses have found that in participants’ brains, two important brain regions increased in thickness- the hippocampus (which controls learning and memory) and parts of the brain that play roles in emotion regulation actually both grew! And the same studies showed that for regular practitioners, the amygdala (where fear, anxiety and stress are born) actually decreased in size. Shrink the amygdala!
• Meditation supports the areas of the brain responsible for concentration and attention
• Mindfulness-Based meditation practices have long-lasting effects on reducing stress. Like, for example, research has shown us that after just 1 8-week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction class, participants reported a reduction in stress for YEARS afterwards.
Are you convinced yet?
I know it’s scary to start practicing mindfulness and meditation, but I’m sure it’s worth a try. Here are some important places to start:
1. Find a quiet place with as few distractions as possible (a bathroom? Closet? Extra room where the door closes? Corner of your room?)
2. Find a comfortable posture (make it comfortable! Sit, lie down, put your feet up against the wall. Whatever works.)
3. Find a focus for your attention (a certain word you say over and over again, the feeling of your breath, a candle)
4. Don’t judge yourself for whatever happens and be open to whatever happens (if you get caught up in your thoughts, notice and let go and return to the focus of your attention. If you feel uncomfortable, move your body and then return to your attention. If a fly is buzzing in your head or you hear children crying in the other room – assuming they are supervised- let those distractions go and then return to your attention.
Is it difficult? You’re in luck- it must be hard. Please don’t buy into those myths that meditation practice must feel good or that good meditators have quiet and calm minds. No, not true. It’s the process of practicing things that matters, not whether or not those things happen.
I have had a regular meditation practice for years and still feel anxious and distracted every time I sit down.
But it works. I feel better.
And it makes me a better mother.
