There are many things to consider before starting a family, and when you get pregnant all those hypotheticals become realities. If you are working, you need to plan for maternity leave and childcare in the future, among other expenses. You need to prepare for your body to make its biggest changes in your life, during pregnancy and after the delivery of your baby. And then there is everything thing you have to get Honestly, it’s overwhelming, and that mental load is heavier on the person carrying the baby than on their partner.
George Lewis, who wrote a parenting book for expectant dads called Don’t panicsummed up how women think during pregnancy compared to men in a painfully accurate way Instagram reel.
The English comedian performed the female point of view first. “I have a lot to prepare. The house must be prepared; prepare the nursery; buy a bed; buy a pram; bottles; milk; the baby is growing; muslins; bedding,” he said in the video. “I have to think about work. How will they accept it? How will this affect my career? I have to go to the first aid course, start thinking about childcare, think about the changes in my body.”
The list does not end there. “I need new clothes; I need a new diet; I have to take supplements; and I need to make sure I’m emotionally prepared for the biggest change I’m going to experience,” he said.
For the male perspective? “I think I’m going to enter a triathlon,” he mused, to which the woman replied “What?”
Of course, this is an exaggerated assumption, but it proves how a pregnant woman carries more than just the baby during those 10 months (yep, 10) from conception to delivery. And all jokes aside, mental health is just as important during pregnancy as it is postpartum (perinatal depression exists and is more common than you think).
If you’re feeling the pre-baby blues and are worried about it, know that you’re not alone: according to a 2020 study, perinatal depression affects 10% to 20% of American women during pregnancy, postpartum, or both. It’s not a reflection of how you feel about motherhood and it doesn’t mean you’re not grateful for your baby.
If you are pregnant and feel you may be suffering from perinatal depression or anxiety, contact your provider immediately. If you are thinking about hurting yourself or someone else, you can call The National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 or go to the emergency room.
A version of this story was originally published on Oct. 18. 2023. It has been updated.
