Children can be embarrassing, especially when horrible things come out of their sweet little mouths. This is not always intentional; children are curious and ask questions. They think about it, and then they say it. They don’t have anything called a filter. And there isn’t a parent alive who doesn’t look on in horror when their child says something utterly embarrassing, and they have to jump in and do damage control.
Once my husband was with our children, and one of them pointed to a man with a prosthetic leg and loudly asked, “Oh! What happened to you?” My husband was at a loss for words. He scrambled and apologized profusely for the comment that had embarrassed him so much and could have been so offensive. Fortunately, the man had a rather spunky personality and made a joke out of the whole thing. He told them it was no big deal and that it wasn’t the first, and it wouldn’t be the last time a kid commented on his leg. And while the situation turned out okay , not everyone reacts the same when children say something embarrassing.
Many adults – unfortunately, not all – are reasonably good at thinking before they speak. Children, on the other hand, are unpredictable. As parents, we must prepare for what we have not prepared for. Knowing what to do and how to react when our children say something embarrassing is critical.
What to Do When Your Child Says Something Embarrassing
Here are some tips for handling it when your child says something embarrassing.
Address the Issue Quickly When Your Child Says Something Embarrassing
Most of us would probably say that there are some things we don’t question. As when a woman never discusses her age, asking is discouraged. Since the dawn of time, and to this day, most of us know that we shouldn’t ask a woman if she’s pregnant or comment on anyone’s body. It’s not just rude, it’s offensive. Children may not realize this, especially small ones, and they may say something that is unintentionally embarrassing. Parents should address embarrassing comments or questions as soon as possible.
Speak Kindly to Children
Parents shouldn’t pretend it didn’t happen when a child says something embarrassing. A child won’t know they said something they shouldn’t if it isn’t addressed right away. Gently pulling a child aside and explaining why their comment was inappropriate is better than scolding and potentially embarrassing the child.
Don’t Laugh When They Say Something Embarrassing
Ugh, this one is so hard sometimes. It’s funny what kids say. But if what they say is not only embarrassing but insulting or socially unacceptable, parents need to call them. If we correct children for something embarrassing but laughable, it can send mixed signals. As hard as it is, stay strong and save your giggles for later.
Make sure there’s an apology
This can be difficult at times. If a child is feeling bad, they may be embarrassed to confront the person and apologize. But it’s always important for kids to recognize when they’ve hurt someone and let them know they’re sorry and won’t do it again. Sure, it might be a forced apology, we’ve all seen those, but kids need to learn to say they’re sorry young to help develop empathy as they get older.
Create a Teaching Moment
Should we compare our children or point out their shortcomings? Not allowed! But using these situations when they say something embarrassing as a teaching moment for other kids is okay. It’s not necessary to call out the child who said something embarrassing, but making a general statement about not hurting feelings and keeping comments to yourself is inappropriate. If said with kindness and without focus, everyone can learn from it.
Create consequences
This isn’t a tip for kids who don’t know what they’re doing, but if a kid is older and says something that’s intentionally offensive or embarrassing, they need to call it out. Acting out and being bad means that a parent gives some punishment. This will vary from family to family, but it might not be a bad idea to eliminate things like screen time or assign extra tasks.
Love Your Children Even If They Say Something Embarrassing
Most importantly, let them know that even if they say things they probably shouldn’t, you still love them. That is the most important. Yes, children need to learn to make better choices, but making them feel guilty and ashamed is not the way to do it. If a child makes a sincere apology and promises not to do it again, the person who was hurt will feel better about it, and will likely accept the apology.
Kids will be kids. As parents, it is our duty to make them good people. No one said it was easy, but it is important. If you have a child, be prepared for red cheeks because your child will say something that will embarrass you. There is no avoidance. But if you do your best to help them make better choices and think before they speak, you can avoid some uncomfortable situations.
