I walked into my first appointment with my OB-GYN after finding out I was pregnant, feeling a combination of trepidation and excitement. Even though I’m a doctor myself, and I’m used to the standard process for patient visits, this is my first baby. After a brief hello, my doctor told me to step on the scale.
The request is unusual—after all, that’s how most doctor visits begin. But as I gained more pregnancy weight, eventually surpassing what was considered “normal” weight gain, I began to feel more and more anxious leading up to visits where I knew I had to step on the scale.
These feelings stem from the fact that much of our medical system still centers a patient’s care plan largely on their weight. As a primary care physician for A MedicalI recognized that despite the fact that I knew academically that weight is not necessarily related to how healthy a person is, I found myself questioning my own health.
Yes, I gained weight. And I know that being South Asian made me more susceptible for gestational diabetes, and more likely to gain weight in my midsection. But I was still able to continue my routines of yoga and brisk walks with my dog. The rest of my vitals are fine. I don’t have gestational diabetes. However, I felt bad and felt like I had failed in some way.
I see this all the time with my patients. That’s because weight is a fraught topic with a lot of stigma attached to it, especially for women.
Studies show that “fat shaming” can cause people to be overweight to avoid the doctorand an overweight patient can really affect the quality of care, and the diagnosis clinicians provide those patients.
Many factors affect weight, such as genetics, childhood influences, socioeconomic status, education and access to fresh food. That’s why at One Medical, we believe in the philosophy of health at all sizes and why, through my role as VP of In-Office Care, I champion a weight-inclusive approach to visits patient. We ask a patient if they are OK with being weighed, and, if so, let them not see the number on the scale if they choose.
We know that weight is not the end-all, be-all when it comes to health, and that there are other factors that doctors can use to gauge a person’s health.
At the end of the day, we would rather create a safe environment that a patient feels comfortable visiting than drive patients away from seeking care.
For new mothers, weight can be difficult to manage. On top of adjusting to caring for a new baby, they’re likely sleeping less (I know!), eating less healthy and making less time to exercise, while managing feelings about what’s lost is all their baby weight.
Fostering a healthy relationship with weight
Here are some things all moms should consider in order to transition to a healthier relationship with their weight.
Be a self-advocate
You are in control of your health, so you should feel empowered to consult with your doctor before making a choice. Ask things like “How do you approach weight? What things do you prioritize over someone’s health?” Use their answers to guide your choice of provider.
Put mental health first
A lot of health has to do with perspective. I recommend keeping a gratitude journal where you focus on the positive elements of your life. It really helped me keep a positive outlook on a life that still felt foreign.
Be selective with your social groups
Mom groups can be a tremendous resource. They can also be toxic, competitive and not good for your mental health. Pay attention to how you feel in your interpersonal relationships. Choose to spend time with people who build you up and make you happy. This extends to social media, which can trigger and encourage negative self-talk.
Give yourself a break
It’s OK that you can’t get a home-cooked meal on the table every day. Or exercise as much as ever. When I had my daughter, I had to accept that. Now, I rely more on frozen vegetables and fish, and subscribe to a food delivery service that makes cooking easy. And yes, occasionally ordering is OK too.
Set small goals
For a new mom, finding a chunk of time to focus on yourself can seem impossible. So set smaller goals. For me, I take a walk with my baby while they sleep. I aspire to run a mile, get my son to play on the ground, and drink more water a day.
Of course, if you have concerns about your weight or health, take them to your doctor. But please, if you take one thing from this article, let it be that your weight is not the only measure of your health.
As for me, my son is 4 months old and still hasn’t lost all of my baby weight. I recognize that I may not lose everything, and that my body may never be the same. But it grew up and gave birth to a child, and that was amazing.
It will take a lot to change the medical profession to be more weight-inclusive. This will require intentionality (all One Medical clinicians receive special training in this) and a mindset shift: a focus on increasing health rather than losing weight. But I am confident that, eventually, the weight will not carry too much, well, weight, when considering one’s health.
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