Teaching Newborns About Sleep
What is the single most important thing to know about newborn sleep?
They sleep a lot. 16 hours. And it’s like not sleeping, because they do it. Not your baby. This is science. Newborns sleep about 16 hours in a 24-hour day.
Here’s the truth, for better or worse, and it’s really important to understand it: you can’t teach a newborn about sleep. Don’t try. Your goal is within 12-16 weeks to start introducing a schedule. The first few weeks? Don’t even try.
Some will go for three hours and the parents want to throw a party! Smart parents know that those 3 hours might be a one off, might not happen again for a few weeks. Some newborns take 3 hours all the time. None of this reflects your parenting one iota.
It is a survival skill of this never-sleeping business. Their stomachs are small and need constant filling to keep them going. Some may sleep longer. They may not. Your baby is unique. It has nothing to do with you and certainly nothing to do with your parenting!
Parents of newborns who sleep longer are told to do the unthinkable of waking a sleeping baby. Why? Because you want them to live and thrive. They need to eat. Talk to your doctor about how long your newborn can go without food. In the first few weeks of life, they need to be fed every two or three hours.
Awake Windows is a good thing to know. Most babies, if they are awake longer than this will be overtired, and overtired babies are usually unhappy and therefore harder to fall asleep, and unhappy.
A newborn’s waking window is usually about 45 minutes. Gradually after 3 weeks you can gradually increase it. By 3 months they can stay awake for about 2 hours-again, depending on the baby.
Before you concern yourself with sleep, make sure the baby is gaining enough weight. If the baby is not getting enough nutrition, they will have trouble sleeping and so will you. Their little bodies know what they need, and how much they need sleep, their bodies know they need food. So, if they don’t gain enough weight they won’t sleep until they have enough in their little bellies! Again, it’s about their survival, they were built for it!
Transitions
Think about it. Your newborn has just come out of a warm, safe place where they are fed enough regularly, where they are constantly rocked, where they are held in a close cozy room and then they do the not very pleasant journey and born! We are very happy! Maybe they feel differently.
I believe that our main role as parents in the first weeks of a baby’s life is to teach them that we are here, that this strange, seemingly cold world is a safe place for them, that we can be trusted, that we will take care of. they Our job is to love them and make them safe. weather
Where should a newborn sleep?
You can’t teach a newborn bad habits in the first weeks of life, you can only teach them love. So, during the day? If you walk and they fall asleep, great! Let them sleep on your chest and soak up the wonder. Maybe you should go to sleep?
Don’t worry about the road and something you can do if this baby just moves to their bassinet!
Where should newborns NOT sleep?
Newborns should always be placed in their own safe sleep space—bassinet, co-sleeper or crib, or any other place that follows CDC safe sleep guidelines.
Why? Because of CDC set those rules for a reason.
When do parents get to sleep?!
Pay attention to the parent’s sleep! These weeks have been exhausting. Maybe let one parent have an hour off in the morning and the other parent the same in the afternoon? Schedule them, otherwise it won’t happen. If the baby is exclusively breastfed a degree of flexibility is necessary. (See above again: needs feeding!) So, in the beginning it could be as simple as one parent getting an hour after the second morning feed and the other parent getting an hour after the first afternoon feed.
(Disclaimer: Some of us moms are nervous and afraid the other parent won’t do it “right”. The breastfeeding parent creeps around the room “out of sight”…baby will know it. It could be me that parent when another parent was trying to give a 6 month old a bottle because that’s what I wanted. Not my best parenting moment!)
Sunday 4-12
During these weeks the parents are very tired, and are getting used to the fact that life has changed and have given up on it “back to normal”. (If you’re not like this, bravo! Don’t tell anyone!)
These are the weeks when we can educate ourselves, as parents. Our goal during these weeks is to remember that the baby is developing every day, and our goal, as their parents, is to begin to be aware of what they are ready for developmentally. Babies don’t tell us when they’re ready to sleep, we have to teach them. It is best for parents and baby to have a sleep and nap schedule that is developmentally appropriate and reasonable and slowly ease the baby into it. No one wants to wake up at 15 weeks or 5 months and say “Why aren’t they sleeping?!?” It can be avoided.
In the first weeks?
You will take care of this baby. You love them. Let’s do the right thing. Love them Feed them when they are hungry. Let them sleep where they want.
Take care of yourself and if there is another parent, make sure both parents take turns in the tedious job of being life support for your baby. If you don’t take care of yourself you can’t do your best for your baby, because no matter what you do, you’ll be tired. Let go and enjoy these weeks.
This is the sweet spot.
Yes, when you are pregnant. The sooner you understand and educate yourself about baby sleep, the better off you and your entire family will be.
Practice let go.
Your goal in the first few weeks of your baby’s life? Let go If you let it through the first few weeks you may have the energy to start teaching your baby the first of many lessons you will help them learn—sleep.
The first weeks? Let go Enjoy. Sniff the top of their head. Don’t get stuck in the future.
The four tools:
Love, Consistency, Boundaries. Loyalty.
They are not secret. Pick up any parenting book, from sleep to children to teens and these tools are there.
Like all the tools in a tool box, learning how to use them, how to use them together so you can use the sledgehammer to break the wall, then what? We sort of smash down our pre-baby life, how do we use our abilities to live the full and sleep-filled life we want?!
If you miss the sweet spot, cool, there are always more opportunities. That baby won’t be coming for a long time. They have a lot to learn, and a lot of time to do it.
This blog is a repost from www.momneedssleep.com. go there for more information on newborn and baby sleep.
