There are Karp’s 5 S’s and there are Siegel’s 4 S’s
Both are key to an important parenting S, Sanity!
Karp wrote a book you’ve probably heard of, The Happiest Baby on the Block. This is a good read. My opinion. Someone came in today and thanked me for sharing the shortened version, meaning I shared the 5 S’s and told her they are important when you have a new baby.
So, first, here they are:
- Swaddle (and do it without fear, the baby has been in a very close confined space lately, your womb, and it feels good to them, even if they resist what some do)
- Edge (hold the baby by their side)
- swing (side to side or gently bounce up and down, something is moving in that confined space)
- Shush (closed space plays that music-shhhh, shhhhh, shhhhh)
- Suck it up (pacifiers they call them that for a reason 😉
Most parents of newborns are less familiar SiegelAbout 4 S’s. Siegel is a brain man, he has written 13 books on brain development and they are all worth reading if you have the time. (I could never have done it without the pandemic that shut down our business for 3 long months.) I find these are great touchstones for all parents, especially when the baby is a toddler, and then the baby is a pre-teen and teen! These are all times when the “baby’s” brain is exploding and connecting like crazy, and us parents can lose our minds!
So, here are Siegel’s 4 S’s:
And, can you notice some similarities? Karp’s S’s are literally baby steps for Siegel’s S’s. As parents of newborns, many of us fear that we are doing something wrong and that this new little person, whom we love more than we thought possible, will suffer.
If you’re reading this, let me assure you, you’re paying attention, you care, and…your baby might still cry. Babies cry. Even if you master the 5S’s.
Baby is a survival machine. Seriously, they were crying. We think something must be wrong! And, no doubt there is. They may be hungry, and when they cry, they get fed! Salvation! They cry and we act for them. They’re smart babies!!
Sometimes they have discomfort that we can’t get rid of. It is particularly difficult, for them and for us. Here’s a MOM tip-Usually, not always, you know your baby- they cry when they are overtired. They don’t know how to close their eyes and sleep, so they scream louder. 5S can help with that. Maybe they have other diseases. Do you trust your doctor? Talk to them if you are concerned.
And, remember this: babies don’t have any other way of saying “That last place? The little cooped up warm, and I was fed without asking and I was rocked? I MISS IT!!” So, they cry. And, sometimes we cry too.
The more time you take – think 5 minutes – to check in on your 4 S’s with another adult the better. How is your Sanity?
Do you feel Seen, by yourself, by other parents if any, by other support people-grandparents, siblings, friends, neighbors, doctors? It can be difficult to find yourself when you are suddenly thrown into this new role as a parent.
It’s easy to see yourself as a parent…until you are one. Then suddenly you are afraid that what you are doing is not right! Remember, you’re doing it perfectly, it’s a new job, you’re learning! Babies cry. this is not an indicator that you are a bad parent.
Finally, if there is another parent, do you see the other parent? The first weeks of parenthood can be a battle of visibility, as everything is focused on the baby, as it should be. Taking turns can help your sanity, letting the other parent go while you take care of yourself, which can be as simple as taking a shower. Then do the same for them.
You will get through the first 3 months.
Pay attention to all the S’s. You have value.
You’ve got it.
Sarah Pollak has been styling women through their pregnancies for 25 years at Mom’s the Word. She also teaches parents of pre-teens and teenagers in Plan P. She is a trained Newborn Sleep Coach, a certified Positive Discipline Parenting teacher and an IPEC trained Life Coach.
