Go on the move! This is the ultimate bonding moment between you and your successor. Trust us, you’ll want to be there if you can!
• Remember, your successor wants you involved. He is doing this to change your life! Stay in touch with him. If you’re thinking about her during the day, shoot her a text and tell her! A kind word can really make her day.
• Set aside some time each week to chat by phone or Skype. We find that a regularly designated time works best. Sunday evenings are often a convenient time. Make it a priority in your schedule – it’s good for everyone!
• When talking to your surrogate, be sure to ask about more than pregnancy — how did she like that prenatal fitness class? Are his kids enjoying soccer? How is his partner’s job? Finding ways to connect about your lives outside of pregnancy will foster a stronger bond, and make it clear that you’re interested in her as a person.
• Try not to micro-manage. Remember, he’s done this before, and he went through a rigorous screening process. Unless you think you have a valid reason to worry, try not to sweat the small stuff!
• If you ever believe you have valid reason to be concerned about something – bring it to us, and let us be the “bad cop.” We’ll take the issue up on your behalf so you don’t have to have an uncomfortable conversation. We want you to be able to focus on the positives, and let us handle any negatives!
• Try to attend big pregnancy appointments, such as gender ultrasounds. If you’re an international IP, it’s a bit more difficult – but think about Skyping the appointment, or doing a Facetime chat during the sonogram.
• Leave money issues to us as much as possible. We are here to handle the financial process, and take that burden off your shoulders. If you have questions about your funds, we are always happy to provide an accounting.
• Be careful about becoming friends on Facebook. Sometimes, less is more. And when it comes to Facebook, we’ve learned that it’s often best to hold off on “friending” your surrogate until after the baby is born. At the very least, you might want to consider just allowing her limited access to your profile, and vice versa.
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